And then you realize that most of the things your children do that annoy you are because they love you.
Ethan likes to get up early in the morning when I'm getting ready for work. I set his ready-to-wake clock for 6:45, so I get up around 5:20 to have time to prepare for the morning. Most mornings, I end up leaving the house closer to 7:00. Yes, it isn't very pleasant when he gets up early because he wants my attention when I'm rushing to get out the door, and he needs to learn to give me space. However, he's three-years-old, and like most children his age, he is focused more on his own needs. Ethan feels his needs in the morning are to get a hug, for me to sit with him, and for me to give him attention.
Usually, on the weekends, Ollie and I play video games after lunch. I often have to clean-up after lunch, so I'll tell Ollie that we will play at a specific time, like 1:45. This helps Ollie understand that we will play video games and that he doesn't have to ask me repeatedly when we are playing.
However, this doesn't change his focus.
As I do dishes, Ollie will just stand near me, looking at me silently, waiting for the time to pass. I'll tell him to read a book or something, and he inevitably comes back around five minutes later and just stands there looking at me. Ollie just wants to play with me.
Yes, it is annoying when I'm trying to cook dinner, and Lucas crawls into the kitchen and starts taking everything out of the lower cabinets. This makes our small galley kitchen even harder to navigate, but he just likes being near me, and he is so happy when he drops a pot or lid and makes a huge sound, and I look over at him.
Modern life makes it challenging to spend as much time as I would like with my children. Even with a slower pace, children need to learn to share their parents with others and the world, but sometimes I wonder if children have to learn that lesson too early. My frustration with my children is not always based on their actions, and they don't understand how external stresses affect our interactions. Even I don't understand this sometimes.
We find the moments to give hugs, and we find moments to give focused attention. Sometimes this means that dinner is less homemade and that laundry remains unfolded. There is a balance between helping my children understand that there are times when I can't give them attention and that I do love that they want to spend time with me. I just haven't figured out how to reach this balance or if I've ever hit it.
When there is never enough time, what do we do? Do we make compromises that our children do not understand, or ask our children to compromise more? Do we ask more out of our children or more out of ourselves? Maybe it's all of these things.
And maybe my children's desire to spend more time with me is a reminder of how much I need time with my children for my soul, and spirit.
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