The grocery store is a magical place for Lucas.
He sits in the front of the cart and gazes silently at the people, the food, and the lights. There is a feeling of awe as I push him around and explain to him what is going on. Sometimes I push my forehead into his, and he snaps out of it and giggles at me, and then he returns to exploring this new world.
I used to take my children to the grocery store all of the time. This is one of the things I used to do with my mom. When going to the grocery store with my mom, she made it seem like a wonderland when I was a child. Here is this place filled with food, but more than that, possibilities, limited only by one's imagination. To this day, I still love going to the grocery store with my mom and watching her shop.
Shortly before we went into lockdown, I even took all three of my children to the grocery store and had a great time.
When the pandemic hit, grocery shopping was no longer fun and wasn't safe for me to take my children along.
The stores had shortages, and some had lines to enter. Even when stores started allowing children, I didn't want to take them into a place filled with fear and anxiety.
Things have been more relaxed in the grocery lately, especially if I go during off-peak times. So, I've taken Ollie to the store, and it's gone pretty well. The freedom of letting my children explore the aisles is no longer there, so I'm unsure of taking more than one child at a time.
I've taken Lucas to the grocery store with me in the past two weeks, and it's incredible to watch. It's bittersweet. Lucas has lived the majority of his life during this pandemic.
He had interacted with fewer people at this point in this life than Ollie or Ethan did when they were his age.
Even though we've filled Lucas's life with love and enrichment, he lives in a smaller world than he would if the pandemic was not part of our reality.
It must be strange for him to see so many people in the store wearing masks. Lucas has a way of responding to facial expressions so well, and I wonder if seeing all those half-faces confused him. Regardless he gazed at people like babies today, unencumbered by social norms. He smiled at a couple of people and tried to wave at the cashier.
In the grocery cart, Lucas kept trying to turn around and see where we were going, unsatisfied with his view of just me. It was cute to see him trying to take everything in, looking side to side, up and down as we moved through the store.
We've had to sacrifice so much during this pandemic, and it's a beautiful feeling to have something back, taking my son to the grocery store. Lucas doesn't miss this, but I do, and I will.
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