Most children work through a stage when they try physical outbursts when they are angry or frustrated. When Ethan is angry or frustrated sometimes, he hits me. It’s not atypical for his age, as he’s three years old. It is annoying to deal with, but it’s part of parenthood.
After Ethan hits me I move him to another space. After he calms down, I remind him that we don’t “hit” in my family and ask him if I hit him or if he sees me hit mommy, and he answers “no” as this is something that he has never seen. The tricky part is calming him down, and this was the situation I was in a couple of days ago.
I tried to get him to sit on the bed and have a time out, but he was still riled up. So, I tried to speak clearly and slowly without yelling, but he kept popping up and trying to leave the room, so I blocked the door, and then he tried hitting me more to get me out of the way. 🙄
Eventually, Ethan gave up and settled down, and sat on his bed for his timeout.
We both left the room together, and I walked out in a haze, tired physically and emotionally. Keeping your cool while a toddler is hitting you is very difficult. Even though Ethan doesn’t understand the impact of his actions, it is still hard to absorb his punches.
Then I heard Lucas crying.
I left Ethan in the living room to play and went to check in on Lucas. He had been napping, and now he was standing up in his crib. I picked him up and carried him over to the bed. Both Ollie and Ethan liked to wake slowly with post-nap cuddles. After waking, Ethan sometimes will cuddle for half an hour. After that, I often have to cut him off. On the other hand, Lucas only requires a couple of minutes before he is ready to face the world.
On this day, it was different. As I put him down on the bed and sat down, Lucas started to climb onto my lap. I laid down, and Lucas continued to climb and settled chest to chest on top of me. I expected him to cuddle me for a minute and get up as I felt his curls on my face. To my surprise, I felt his body relax, and his breathing slow down.
Then he was asleep.
Chest naps are one of the most wonderful things about having a baby. It’s a beautiful feeling to have something so small and so venerable feel comfortable so close to you. It’s magical, and it’s probably been over a year since Lucas shared a chest nap with me. As much as I would like Lucas to cuddle with me more sometimes, it’s a two-way street, and if he’s not in the mood, then I have no right to force it.
Lucas had no idea what I had just gone through with his older brother and how much I needed a hug, but sometimes things have a way of working out. There are nights when all three boys seem to conspire, and all have tough nights at the same time when sleep is a struggle for different reasons. Then, when you need it the most, the littlest one reminds you that you are a good dad and helps you slow down and enjoy life.
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