Today, I led one of my 4th graders in a dance they had learned, “I Want You Back.” I was in the stage of learning the choreography and teaching it to my students where I didn’t really have to think about the moves, and I could fully get into the dance. That moment when the dance clicks for me and I can be in the moment with my students thinking less about the choreography but more about my students, is pure joy.
This is when we really start having fun. When you are in this moment, the whole world goes away, and all that I feel is the music and my students joining together in dance.
We got to the end of the song. That’s when I started breathing harder, and at that moment, I felt the heat in my mask and remembered: I was wearing a mask because a student in this class earlier this week had tested positive for COVID-19.
*****
I was on a roll. I had a list of emails that I wanted to write, and I was getting through them. They are all positive things I wanted to tell people, ideas that I knew people would like, and confirmations that I knew would make people feel good.
There was one email that I got stuck on. I knew what I wanted to express, but I couldn’t find the words. I love this kind of challenge in writing, that moment when you are trying to turn emotion into words, and it's not quite happening. Something is satisfying about facing this challenge and struggling to find the words. It’s like trying to find a treasure, and there are hints along the way, and when you see it, it feels great. I knew I was getting close to a method of explaining how I felt when I noticed that I had received a new email. A tiny number popped up next to the inbox icon.
I thought about ignoring it. I was onto something good, but I didn’t. When I opened up my inbox. I saw in the subject matter an all too common occurrence. I had been exposed to a student who tested positive for COVID-19. These notifications of positive cases in our school remind us of the pandemic and create this low level of anxiety that never entirely goes away. While I can forget about COVID-19 for a moment, that anxiety never leaves.
***
There are moments when school almost seems normal. There is more laughter than there was last school year. People are more relaxed, and people feel less anxious. Students move around the school instead of in one classroom, and social distancing is wholly gone. Events are occurring like they used, and we can see smiles.
There are moments when I don’t think about the fact that we are in a pandemic. The joy of learning and working with students sometimes makes the pandemic leave my mind, but something happens, and I’m reminded of what we can’t do and what we are missing. I’m grateful for these moments and for my students. Education should make us face the day's challenges, but it should also help us leave the present.
Just because the pandemic is still with us doesn’t mean it has to feel that way. That’s why every opportunity I get, I dance with my students.
No comments:
Post a Comment