The vast majority of our family outings include all of us. There are times when Diana or me will take all three of our sons out to do something like go to the beach or something. Most of the time, though, the three boys are together when we go out and do things together.
While we have a great time as a family with all three boys together, I’ve begun to notice that there are advantages to having my sons be together in different groupings. This allows for some individual time with one of us and also lets two boys have some time away from the third, which can be a nice change of pace.
I took Ollie and Ethan to go see Lightyear. We figured Lucas probably wouldn't get a lot out of seeing this film. He doesn’t sit for that long, and Diana wasn’t that interested in the film, so I took the older boys. They had a lot of fun. I was honestly not that into the film and ended up falling asleep for a chunk of the film, but I was really happy Ollie and Ethan had a good time. Now I end up falling asleep in most films, plays, and concerts, since becoming a father...something about the dark room. Ollie and Ethan were both highly motivated by the film, so they were really well behaved getting to the film, which was nice.
Last week, Ollie had a camp on Friday morning, and Ethan and Lucas were free, so I took them to a local park district amusement park called Pirate’s Cove. We did take Ollie to this place with his brothers last year, and he had a good time, but he’s starting to get too old for places like this. He’s right at the top age of the recommended age limit. While Ollie generally doesn’t mind doing things that are directed toward children younger than him, I don’t want to push it. We asked Ollie if he minded us taking his brothers without him or if he wanted us to go some other time with him, and he said he didn’t mind me taking my brothers without him.
When Ethan and Lucas are together, they often take their cues on what to do and where to go when they go to places from Ollie. Without Ollie, Ethan stepped up and made an extra effort to lead Lucas around and help him out on the rides. I also found that Ethan paid more attention to Lucas without Ollie around and ensured he was okay. Now, Ethan didn’t spend the whole time looking after Lucas. There were times when he ran off, completely oblivious to where Lucas was, but more often than not, he was doing a great job taking on the role of the older responsible sibling.
I’m not sure what it will be, but I look forward to doing something with just Lucas and Ollie. They have the biggest age difference between the three of them. Even though Lucas is actually closer in age to Ethan than Ethan is to Ollie, developmentally, Ollie and Ethan are more able to communicate and play together. This will change, and the dynamics of their relationships as a trio and as pairs will evolve over time.
I love how much fun they have as a trio. So much they do together makes me so happy to witness. As someone who only had one sibling, I didn’t really think about what it meant for them to have time in different arrangements until recently. I’m looking forward to creating space for these relationships to grow in different ways and watching them grow.
Ollie, Ethan, and Lucas are great to each other, and I’m so glad that have each other.
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