Parenting can be really boring.
Yes, there are many dramatic moments in parenting. The crisis of a blown out diaper on the road with only a limited amount of baby wipes handy and the endless nights when sleep is allusive for everyone in the house. There are also moments of indescribable joy like when your baby brings over her favorite book to you to read and giggles at the funny voices you make as you read aloud.
There are the annoying times when he throws the food that you put a lot of effort into cooking for him onto the floor. Then there are the aggravating moments when your patience is running out and your toddler just won’t stop crying.
Along with all of this, there are moments in parenting that can be really boring.
When Ollie was a newborn he didn’t laugh at any of my jokes, react to the books I read to him or smiled. There wasn’t a lot of different ways that he could show me that he understood me but he was so cute and anyways he slept most of the time. Because of this the awkward moments when we were just bored staring at each other were at a minimum.
As Ollie developed his first year, he would smile at my silly voices, begin playing with toys and move around the room. This has developed into the toddler Ollie is now. He has opinions of what he wants to play with. When he wants to read a book he will put a book in my hand and he will try to interact with me by grabbing at my leg or crawling all over me.
Yes, Ollie is adorable but sometimes things can get boring when I play with him. He’s not a great conversationalist and his books, while they continue to fascinate him lack the emotional depth and character development for repeated readings.
It’s sometimes really difficult to not get bored as he attempts to put the triangle shape through the square whole of his shape sorter for the fifth time in a row.
There’s the adage that you get what you put into a situation. That’s most definitely the case with playing with toddlers. You are the one who needs to bring energy and creativity during your playtime to the table. The toddler sometimes demands your attention, but often Ollie doesn’t. The problem here is that in these moments Ollie will often get into something he shouldn’t if I don’t actively help him become engaged in something he should be playing with.
It’s okay to be bored with your kid sometimes. It happens to everyone. Our kids our cute, constantly changing and endlessly fascinating but like other people in our lives, they can be boring sometimes.
My recommendation: Pace out your time with your kid. Go out and do stuff. I’m not talking about crazy outings to museums. The bookstore, library or grocery store are great places to go with your kid. Even though you’ve read that book over and over, add some voices, it’ll be less boring for you that way if you just put in a little bit more energy. Stay engaged. Times always moves faster if you are actively engaged in an activity. It takes extra effort, but it's worth it.
Lastly, you don’t always have to be doing things with your kid. It’s ok to just sit there checking your Facebook feed while your kids is sitting playing with some blocks. If checking your phone helps your get through your boredom as your toddler independently plays, it’s all good. Do what you have to do. Just make sure that when your child wants to reengage with you, the phone disappears. Sometimes these moments when you are more passive with your child gives you the energy to jump back in with more enthusiasm.
One day Ollie will engage in thoughtful conversations with me, until then I'll continue to reread his favorite books and help him with his shape sorter. Because here's the thing, as boring as these this things can be for me, when I look into Ollie's eyes and see his fascination and excitement in the mundane, it doesn't seem so boring anymore.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
Year 5: Week 2 – The Office
Most teachers’ offices are there classrooms, but music teachers sometimes are in a different situation. Teachers who share classroom spaces often get an office space. It’s difficult to do work in a room when there’s a class going on.
My first office I ever had as a teacher was a small closet of an office. It was probably 6x8 feet. Crammed in there were two desks, a computer workstation we shared and a bookshelf. It was nice to have some space but at the same time it opened up right to the band room which almost always had class going on in there, so it was never really an escape.
My office-mate was incredibly nice but it was crammed and not the most conducive space to getting work done.
As an assistant, I didn’t have an office. Instead I had a single drawer in a desk. There were a bunch of computers in the room that I assisted in so computer access wasn’t a big deal. There wasn’t really a need for me to have an office since as an assistant, I never called parents and rarely had a lot of desk work to do.
When I came to this school five years ago, there were five teachers including myself sharing three office spaces. Four teachers shared two different offices with a small conference room in-between these spaces. The fifth teacher utilized our MIDI lab as his office.
Five of us were in different spaces and while it worked out pretty well, it didn’t feel like were a department. The art teachers all shared one space, the drama teachers did too and also the science department had one shared office space.
How did the music offices end up getting split up? When the school did it’s most recent construction almost a decade a go, they went with teacher preference. While this made sense at the time it didn’t speak to the larger and more important concern: how do we want our department to work together and how can the space reflect this?
The way you set-up a classroom communicates expectations and values to our students and the way an office is set-up has the exact same effect. We wanted to be more collaborative, get more face time with each other. The administration understood our concerns and goals and got on board to help make this happen.
The plan we came up with knocked down walls turning the two offices and the one small conference room between into one large office with an even smaller room next to it.
With most building projects, our office construction was delayed. We didn’t have access to this space until late into the first week of classes. At the end of week two we still don’t have furniture that fits in the space and because of these there are crates of supplies and files that have yet to be unpacked. Yes, we are not in an idea office situation but we are all together in one space and that has been awesome.
There are some things for us to work out, like how to arrange furniture and share filing cabinets. And even though we can all work with some noise around us, sometimes we all need a little quiet to focus.
The good stuff about being in one space has made a big difference in the feeling of our department. We have a lot more informal conversations that have helped get a lot of things done. We have a better awareness of what each other are doing and we are also having more fun. The progressive chess game that started this week has been a fun distraction, there’s more video games being played and there’s a lot more laughter.
To bring joy into the classroom, it's important that teachers experience joy outside of the classroom. Teaching can be a very stressful job and teachers need a space, a teacher's lounge, a shared office space to remind ourselves that as difficult as it is to be a teacher, we are not alone in our struggles.
My first office I ever had as a teacher was a small closet of an office. It was probably 6x8 feet. Crammed in there were two desks, a computer workstation we shared and a bookshelf. It was nice to have some space but at the same time it opened up right to the band room which almost always had class going on in there, so it was never really an escape.
My office-mate was incredibly nice but it was crammed and not the most conducive space to getting work done.
As an assistant, I didn’t have an office. Instead I had a single drawer in a desk. There were a bunch of computers in the room that I assisted in so computer access wasn’t a big deal. There wasn’t really a need for me to have an office since as an assistant, I never called parents and rarely had a lot of desk work to do.
When I came to this school five years ago, there were five teachers including myself sharing three office spaces. Four teachers shared two different offices with a small conference room in-between these spaces. The fifth teacher utilized our MIDI lab as his office.
Five of us were in different spaces and while it worked out pretty well, it didn’t feel like were a department. The art teachers all shared one space, the drama teachers did too and also the science department had one shared office space.
How did the music offices end up getting split up? When the school did it’s most recent construction almost a decade a go, they went with teacher preference. While this made sense at the time it didn’t speak to the larger and more important concern: how do we want our department to work together and how can the space reflect this?
The way you set-up a classroom communicates expectations and values to our students and the way an office is set-up has the exact same effect. We wanted to be more collaborative, get more face time with each other. The administration understood our concerns and goals and got on board to help make this happen.
The plan we came up with knocked down walls turning the two offices and the one small conference room between into one large office with an even smaller room next to it.
With most building projects, our office construction was delayed. We didn’t have access to this space until late into the first week of classes. At the end of week two we still don’t have furniture that fits in the space and because of these there are crates of supplies and files that have yet to be unpacked. Yes, we are not in an idea office situation but we are all together in one space and that has been awesome.
There are some things for us to work out, like how to arrange furniture and share filing cabinets. And even though we can all work with some noise around us, sometimes we all need a little quiet to focus.
The good stuff about being in one space has made a big difference in the feeling of our department. We have a lot more informal conversations that have helped get a lot of things done. We have a better awareness of what each other are doing and we are also having more fun. The progressive chess game that started this week has been a fun distraction, there’s more video games being played and there’s a lot more laughter.
To bring joy into the classroom, it's important that teachers experience joy outside of the classroom. Teaching can be a very stressful job and teachers need a space, a teacher's lounge, a shared office space to remind ourselves that as difficult as it is to be a teacher, we are not alone in our struggles.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Frat Boy: Saga Dining Hall - Part 4
My brother was into Iron Chef way before it ever became a show in America. He collected videotapes that came over from Japan and really enjoyed the over-the-top pro-wrestling style presentation with the interesting and dynamic cooking.
When we’d get together we would watch these tapes together and it was a lot of fun so I figured why not do this at Saga?
Dillo Day, otherwise known at Mayfest is a spring celebration when people on campus collectively decided to chill out. The university sets-up a stage, get some mid-level music acts to put on some music and there’s series of events for students. The NUMB-Mu-Alpha-Iota group didn’t really get into the formal organized events too much, but we did get with the program and get our party on.
My senior year we decided to put on a competition between the different classes, freshmen, sophomore, juniors and seniors. A group of seniors including myself and some girls from SAI set up a series of events and points that could be earned towards a grand total. This was of course rigged so that the seniors would win and the underclassmen knew this but they didn’t seem to mind.
One event was a game of softball, there was a trivia game and there was the main event: SAGA IRON CHEF!
People worked in teams of two, one girl and one guy. They were able to use two ingredients they brought in from outside the cafeteria. The teams had to use whatever ingredient we chose, along with whatever food there was at Saga to put together a three-course meal.
We walked into Saga that day in mass,almost forty of us. Mary, a senior from SAI and I scurried around trying to figure out what the secret ingredient was as people nervously stood around.
It was getting weird that people were just milling around, so we told everyone to get food like they normally would and settle down. Once everyone got seated, Mary and I made an announcement.
We welcomed everyone to Saga Iron Chef, went over the rules and announced the secret ingredients: Baby Corn and Bananas.
Immediately there was chaos. The four teams ran around the cafeteria at full speed shoving piles of food on their trays frantically trying to put something together. Unable to simply sit and watch, people in our group walked around and tried to figure out what people were doing.
Before I knew it, no one was sitting at the table and everyone was up and about, cheering people on and getting a little bit too into this event.
Mary and I stood in the middle of the maelstrom when we started hearing whispers that the cafeteria staff was unhappy with us.
Here’s the thing. There were different managers in the Plex all of the time but the staff who worked there was pretty consistent and we loved them. They were caring, thoughtful and really nice. Many of them learned our names and were a big part of the reason we liked coming to the Plex to eat.
These people were becoming distressed. I remember looking over at Mary and not knowing what to do. As I hesitated, she took the lead and went over and talked to one of the staff people that she knew.
Feeling that the end was near, we got everyone to sit down and chill out and we commenced judging.
There was the good: chocolate Courtney had brought in, melted in the microwave poured over a banana. The confusing: slices of baby corn placed on a pizza. And the simply confusing: a plastic cup filled with some kind of pop with bits of floating corn.
About halfway through the tasting, Mary came over to me and told me that we had to leave. The manager was upset about how much food we were wasting and the mess that we had made in the cafeteria.
We huddled quickly and told our group that we had to leave but that we needed to clean this place up and not leave this mess for the staff that served us every day.
In the same whirlwind that people were engaged in during the competition, people swept through the room, cleaned up our mess, cleared our table and got out of that place fast.
When we’d get together we would watch these tapes together and it was a lot of fun so I figured why not do this at Saga?
Dillo Day, otherwise known at Mayfest is a spring celebration when people on campus collectively decided to chill out. The university sets-up a stage, get some mid-level music acts to put on some music and there’s series of events for students. The NUMB-Mu-Alpha-Iota group didn’t really get into the formal organized events too much, but we did get with the program and get our party on.
My senior year we decided to put on a competition between the different classes, freshmen, sophomore, juniors and seniors. A group of seniors including myself and some girls from SAI set up a series of events and points that could be earned towards a grand total. This was of course rigged so that the seniors would win and the underclassmen knew this but they didn’t seem to mind.
One event was a game of softball, there was a trivia game and there was the main event: SAGA IRON CHEF!
People worked in teams of two, one girl and one guy. They were able to use two ingredients they brought in from outside the cafeteria. The teams had to use whatever ingredient we chose, along with whatever food there was at Saga to put together a three-course meal.
We walked into Saga that day in mass,almost forty of us. Mary, a senior from SAI and I scurried around trying to figure out what the secret ingredient was as people nervously stood around.
It was getting weird that people were just milling around, so we told everyone to get food like they normally would and settle down. Once everyone got seated, Mary and I made an announcement.
We welcomed everyone to Saga Iron Chef, went over the rules and announced the secret ingredients: Baby Corn and Bananas.
Immediately there was chaos. The four teams ran around the cafeteria at full speed shoving piles of food on their trays frantically trying to put something together. Unable to simply sit and watch, people in our group walked around and tried to figure out what people were doing.
Before I knew it, no one was sitting at the table and everyone was up and about, cheering people on and getting a little bit too into this event.
Mary and I stood in the middle of the maelstrom when we started hearing whispers that the cafeteria staff was unhappy with us.
Here’s the thing. There were different managers in the Plex all of the time but the staff who worked there was pretty consistent and we loved them. They were caring, thoughtful and really nice. Many of them learned our names and were a big part of the reason we liked coming to the Plex to eat.
These people were becoming distressed. I remember looking over at Mary and not knowing what to do. As I hesitated, she took the lead and went over and talked to one of the staff people that she knew.
Feeling that the end was near, we got everyone to sit down and chill out and we commenced judging.
There was the good: chocolate Courtney had brought in, melted in the microwave poured over a banana. The confusing: slices of baby corn placed on a pizza. And the simply confusing: a plastic cup filled with some kind of pop with bits of floating corn.
About halfway through the tasting, Mary came over to me and told me that we had to leave. The manager was upset about how much food we were wasting and the mess that we had made in the cafeteria.
We huddled quickly and told our group that we had to leave but that we needed to clean this place up and not leave this mess for the staff that served us every day.
In the same whirlwind that people were engaged in during the competition, people swept through the room, cleaned up our mess, cleared our table and got out of that place fast.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Parenthood: Week 67 - Daycare Letter
"'Sometimes,' said Pooh, 'the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.’"Dear Ollie’s new teachers,
I regret that I cannot attend Ollie’s orientation, but today is my second day at the school that I teach at and there’s a lot of beginning of the year craziness that require my attention.
I wanted to tell you a little bit about Ollie and our family as you get to know him and welcome him into your community.
Diana and I love being parents. We both love kids instinctively and are interested in kids intellectually. While we take the care of our son seriously, we don’t take ourselves too seriously as parents. We believe that life is meant to be enjoyed and if that means that Ollie gets some germs from trying to eat dirt or some preservatives from sharing a tasty snack, that’s okay with us. Instead of basing our parenting decisions on a single philosophy, we base our decisions on research, what is pragmatic and what is best for Ollie and our entire family.
Diana and I trust each other completely with Ollie. There is no task related to the care of Ollie that we do not have faith that the other person can handle. While we know Ollie in different ways, we both truly know Ollie as our son and a person.
Ollie is one of my favorite people on this planet. He’s optimistic and goofy. While he’s easy-going, he is also very determined. Ollie is observant and sometimes cautious but he’s also brave and curious. Ollie sees life as an adventure and new people as another kind soul that he can connect with simply by smiling at them. He’s one of the kindest people I have ever met in my entire life.
Ollie’s belief in the goodness of people and his fascination with the ordinary inspires me every day.
The decision to have Ollie come to day care was one of the most difficult for our family. However our time touring this school, meeting Amy have convinced us that day care can be an rewarding experience for Ollie and our whole family.
There’s a lot of reasons why we feel your daycare is a good fit, but one of the main reasons is the feel, the vibe of the school. From Amy’s warmth to the office staff, who on our recent visit produced a flurry of giggles out of Ollie, it’s clear that you embraces life with optimism and joy.
Please take care of our special little guy. We are putting our most precious and cherished part of our lives in your care. Ollie’s the best of who we are. Even on the most difficult moments of being a parent, I am thankful that Ollie is in my life.
We know that this transition may bring challenges so please let us know what we can do to help. Our family looks forwards to Ollie’s adventures at your daycare and to becoming part of your community.
Sincerely,
-Kingsley
Friday, September 5, 2014
Year 5: Week 1 - Blue Hat, Green Hat
This is the introduction I gave for our first department meeting of the year.
I’ve really enjoyed reading books to Ollie over the summer break. He’s starting to recognize books and he will bring a book over for me to read to him, which is adorable. One of his favorite books is “Blue Hat, Green Hat,” by Sandra Boynton. It has a theme in it that I feel really resonates with our experiences at this school. Let me read this book to you.
Think about the turkey. He’s wearing clothing the wrong way throughout the book, but he’s not really disturbed about this fact. In the end of the book he’s the one who happily plunges into the pool while everyone looks on with envy.
In every class we teach, there’s a few turkeys. Sometimes it’s a student who picks up a tambourine and plays it in an unconventional way. Other times it’s a students who figures out a way to use a music app on an iPad in a way that we don't expect. Sometimes these students are being distracting and are purposely being contrary, but most of the time these students are being creative in ways that we don’t predict. Take time when these moments arise to consider what this student is doing. Maybe he or her creative way of looking at an instrument will teach the whole class something important and meaningful.
As teachers, we are turkeys every day. We teach in one of the most progressive schools in the state. Our approach to students, curriculum, instruction and assessment makes us look like a turkey to the vast majority of the teachers in America. As people are moving towards more standardized testing and common core standards, we are focusing on helping students learn through group projects and progressive teaching activities.
Even within our department I’ve been a part of conversations that make us look like turkeys within our school. We’ve talked about getting rid of the chairs in the lower school music room, utilizing technology in the middle school band program in new ways and creating different and innovative ways to help our students experience music.
Ultimately being a turkey, trying new things, and going against assumptions is where creativity and the most meaningful learning occurs. We value this in our students but sometimes the fact that this looks like a turkey putting a shoe on his head makes it not clear that something truly creative is happening.
So next time a students does something in an unconventional way, pause before correcting them and think about how they are exploring and maybe even have a conversations with them so that they can explain their thinking.
Be brave, be a turkey. Don’t get bogged down by what has been done in the past or the way other people do things. Focus more on "why not?" than "can not." In these moments, be proud and don’t say “oops.”
Later in the year, I want you to share a story of when you observed one of your students being a turkey and a story of you being a turkey yourself. I'm looking forward to a great year with all of you.
I’ve really enjoyed reading books to Ollie over the summer break. He’s starting to recognize books and he will bring a book over for me to read to him, which is adorable. One of his favorite books is “Blue Hat, Green Hat,” by Sandra Boynton. It has a theme in it that I feel really resonates with our experiences at this school. Let me read this book to you.
Think about the turkey. He’s wearing clothing the wrong way throughout the book, but he’s not really disturbed about this fact. In the end of the book he’s the one who happily plunges into the pool while everyone looks on with envy.
In every class we teach, there’s a few turkeys. Sometimes it’s a student who picks up a tambourine and plays it in an unconventional way. Other times it’s a students who figures out a way to use a music app on an iPad in a way that we don't expect. Sometimes these students are being distracting and are purposely being contrary, but most of the time these students are being creative in ways that we don’t predict. Take time when these moments arise to consider what this student is doing. Maybe he or her creative way of looking at an instrument will teach the whole class something important and meaningful.
As teachers, we are turkeys every day. We teach in one of the most progressive schools in the state. Our approach to students, curriculum, instruction and assessment makes us look like a turkey to the vast majority of the teachers in America. As people are moving towards more standardized testing and common core standards, we are focusing on helping students learn through group projects and progressive teaching activities.
Even within our department I’ve been a part of conversations that make us look like turkeys within our school. We’ve talked about getting rid of the chairs in the lower school music room, utilizing technology in the middle school band program in new ways and creating different and innovative ways to help our students experience music.
Ultimately being a turkey, trying new things, and going against assumptions is where creativity and the most meaningful learning occurs. We value this in our students but sometimes the fact that this looks like a turkey putting a shoe on his head makes it not clear that something truly creative is happening.
So next time a students does something in an unconventional way, pause before correcting them and think about how they are exploring and maybe even have a conversations with them so that they can explain their thinking.
Be brave, be a turkey. Don’t get bogged down by what has been done in the past or the way other people do things. Focus more on "why not?" than "can not." In these moments, be proud and don’t say “oops.”
Later in the year, I want you to share a story of when you observed one of your students being a turkey and a story of you being a turkey yourself. I'm looking forward to a great year with all of you.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Frat Boy: Saga Dining Hall - Part 3
The Plex was set up with rows of long tables. Two rectangular tables would be combined on their short end to create one long table. You could comfortably sit sixteen people around these two table but we would inevitably fit more. By the busy point of lunch we would take over two rows of tables.
Most people didn’t eat breakfast in the cafeterias. If you did, it was a pretty quiet affair. People sat by themselves, and read a paper or caught up on some homework. Lunch and dinner was a completely different affair. People would start rolling in around 11 and by 12:30, we would have filled up our usual tables.
Sometimes the conversations were pretty chill, other times they were explosive. People would argue politics while others would rolled their eyes. Some people stormed off in anger while others would come to the table crying. I was asked out to a formal at the Plex, I gossiped with the best of them and I developed some of my closest friendship at our tables.
Like with any good meal and any family we had our traditions. Mikey would ask if anyone wanted to go get coffee, which was code to a group of us that we wanted to gossip about someone at the table. About once a week, we would choose someone to prank. Sometime it was taking away everything but the person’s tray so it would be a pain for them to clean up. Other times we would put all our dishes on one person’s tray to again, make it a pain for them to clean up. Then there were more creative pranks like the time Pete put a napkin in Chris’ sandwich. Chris was beyond angry when he bit in that sandwich and found it there. He stormed out of the Plex leaving his jacket and book bag behind.
We would sing “Happy Birthday” annoyingly loud when that day arrived for someone at the table, or didn’t. And one time we hijacked another groups singing of “Happy Birthday” by screaming a name of someone at our own table at the “happy birthday to ____” part of the song. The other group of people who were singing immediately stopped after we interjected and the entire dining hall fell silent. We all felt pretty bad about that one.
Maria would complain constantly about the lack of vegetarian choices and Henry would always eat platefuls of the main dish, no matter how disgusting it tasted. Jessica would create plates based on different color palettes as a challenge to break out of the monotony of yellow and light brown food that monopolize our food choices.
Mary would try to do the crossword puzzle every day, refusing to listen to anyone’s suggestions or ask for help and only figure out one or two clue. Max would lecture us on the superiority of his major, while Alex would argue with him, unbeknownst to Max, actually mocking him. Then there was Tracey who would always drink at least five glasses of diet coke.
I can’t forget to the mention practice of “Saga-thon.” People can be in and out of Saga pretty quickly, like 20 minutes. If you take your time, you should be there maximum 45. Instead of going back to do homework, or get on with the rest of our lives, people would often “Saga-thone.” This means that you get to Saga, eat with people who go their before you, and stay through another group of people coming and leaving, sometimes for hours. People at their worst could be at Saga for 2 maybe 3 hours.
The funny thing about being a “Saga-thon” was that it was a term people used to describe themselves. No one ever gave anyone a hard time for sticking around the cafeteria long after they should have logically left. This was because we all understood that sometimes we all need some time to get away from the grind by chilling with friends through the inevitable parade of people who would come and go throughout the afternoon.
All of this silliness, drama and fun, may have been loud at times, but we didn’t mind. We probably were pretty obnoxious to the other people eating there, but we didn’t seem to notice.
One time though we did go too far. It wasn’t when we combined tables into one “magnum table.” That only got us a stern talking too about fire code. It was Saga Iron Chen when we crossed a line.
Most people didn’t eat breakfast in the cafeterias. If you did, it was a pretty quiet affair. People sat by themselves, and read a paper or caught up on some homework. Lunch and dinner was a completely different affair. People would start rolling in around 11 and by 12:30, we would have filled up our usual tables.
Sometimes the conversations were pretty chill, other times they were explosive. People would argue politics while others would rolled their eyes. Some people stormed off in anger while others would come to the table crying. I was asked out to a formal at the Plex, I gossiped with the best of them and I developed some of my closest friendship at our tables.
Like with any good meal and any family we had our traditions. Mikey would ask if anyone wanted to go get coffee, which was code to a group of us that we wanted to gossip about someone at the table. About once a week, we would choose someone to prank. Sometime it was taking away everything but the person’s tray so it would be a pain for them to clean up. Other times we would put all our dishes on one person’s tray to again, make it a pain for them to clean up. Then there were more creative pranks like the time Pete put a napkin in Chris’ sandwich. Chris was beyond angry when he bit in that sandwich and found it there. He stormed out of the Plex leaving his jacket and book bag behind.
We would sing “Happy Birthday” annoyingly loud when that day arrived for someone at the table, or didn’t. And one time we hijacked another groups singing of “Happy Birthday” by screaming a name of someone at our own table at the “happy birthday to ____” part of the song. The other group of people who were singing immediately stopped after we interjected and the entire dining hall fell silent. We all felt pretty bad about that one.
Maria would complain constantly about the lack of vegetarian choices and Henry would always eat platefuls of the main dish, no matter how disgusting it tasted. Jessica would create plates based on different color palettes as a challenge to break out of the monotony of yellow and light brown food that monopolize our food choices.
Mary would try to do the crossword puzzle every day, refusing to listen to anyone’s suggestions or ask for help and only figure out one or two clue. Max would lecture us on the superiority of his major, while Alex would argue with him, unbeknownst to Max, actually mocking him. Then there was Tracey who would always drink at least five glasses of diet coke.
I can’t forget to the mention practice of “Saga-thon.” People can be in and out of Saga pretty quickly, like 20 minutes. If you take your time, you should be there maximum 45. Instead of going back to do homework, or get on with the rest of our lives, people would often “Saga-thone.” This means that you get to Saga, eat with people who go their before you, and stay through another group of people coming and leaving, sometimes for hours. People at their worst could be at Saga for 2 maybe 3 hours.
The funny thing about being a “Saga-thon” was that it was a term people used to describe themselves. No one ever gave anyone a hard time for sticking around the cafeteria long after they should have logically left. This was because we all understood that sometimes we all need some time to get away from the grind by chilling with friends through the inevitable parade of people who would come and go throughout the afternoon.
All of this silliness, drama and fun, may have been loud at times, but we didn’t mind. We probably were pretty obnoxious to the other people eating there, but we didn’t seem to notice.
One time though we did go too far. It wasn’t when we combined tables into one “magnum table.” That only got us a stern talking too about fire code. It was Saga Iron Chen when we crossed a line.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Parenthood: Week 66 - Michael Brown & Ollie Tang
The tragic death of Michael Brown has reminded the nation that there are many people in this country who racist, insecure, hateful and in denial about the racial issues in our society. The people who donated money to support the police officer who shot Michael Brown, the pundits who attack the “liberal media,” and make themselves out to be victims and the Americans who refuse to see this tragedy for it is, is a depressing but important reminder that we have so much work to do as a country.
What’ shocking is how in many ways we aren’t calling these people out for being speaking in offensive ways and for being quite simply, wrong.
What does this all mean for Ollie? He’s half-Asian, and for many people Asians are the “preferred minority.” Often when people are talking about issues related to minorities they are talking about African-Americans and Hispanics. When we talk about illegal immigrants most people think about Mexicans crossing the border and when people mention minorities in education, they are mostly focusing on African-Americans.
Does this mean he’ll be fine and never have to face racism? No, of course not, but if Ollie somehow lived his life never dealing with racism directed towards him and Asian-Americans, racism would still effect him deeply.
I’ve probably only dealt with a handful of instances when someone made racially offensive comment to me. And I’ve probably only came across a couple people in my life who were truly racist towards Asians. But every time, something happens like the death of Michael Brown, it resonates with me minorities of all races.
When people make racist remarks and actions, it makes other minorities second guess the value of their identity, their worth in society. If a white police officer can shoot and kill a unarmed black teen and is defended as a victim, what does this mean for the way that people can treat me, the way that people will treat my son? If the majority can get away with mistreating one minority, than it shakes the confidence in all minorities that we are protected and valued in our society.
If you really let this tragedy sink-in, it should rock the foundation of all our senses of freedom and justice regardless of race.
I have no idea how I’m going to explain racism to Ollie. I want so much for him the believe in the good in the souls of people, but unfortunately there are people who just don’t let that good shine through. For them, Ollie simply because of the fact he’s half-Asian, a fact that he should be proud of, will be judged differently.
When I think about people doing mean things to me, it’s annoying. When I think of people doing mean things to my wife Diana, I get angry and when I think of people being mean to Ollie, it’s reaches a level of fury.
I get why Martin Luther King Jr. talked about his kids in his famous "I Have A Dream Speech." It physically hurts to think of Ollie dealing with racism. For King and many in his movement, I imagine that they felt the same way.
If you don't understand my feelings, because you don't have kids or because you're not a minority, then you have got to trust us that this is an issue and do what you can. Yes, there are those who have less honorable motives when they make speeches against racism, but those people are few.
Diana explained to me a couple nights ago that being exposed to racism has its benefits. It teaches us about our fears, our insecurities and helps us understand our own feelings. Diana's right, it's not all bad. Many of our greatest heroes and many of the most inspiring moments in our history were made in response to racism. We understand our capacity for compassion, strength and love better because of those who faced racism and fought against it.
These thoughts bring me comfort but most of me still wishes I can protect Ollie from all the darkness in the world. I know that I can't and one day we will have to help him understand that not all people are nice. Until then, we will surround him with love and goodness so that when he meets someone who is racist, he will feel sympathy and compassion instead of anger and hate.
What’ shocking is how in many ways we aren’t calling these people out for being speaking in offensive ways and for being quite simply, wrong.
What does this all mean for Ollie? He’s half-Asian, and for many people Asians are the “preferred minority.” Often when people are talking about issues related to minorities they are talking about African-Americans and Hispanics. When we talk about illegal immigrants most people think about Mexicans crossing the border and when people mention minorities in education, they are mostly focusing on African-Americans.
Does this mean he’ll be fine and never have to face racism? No, of course not, but if Ollie somehow lived his life never dealing with racism directed towards him and Asian-Americans, racism would still effect him deeply.
I’ve probably only dealt with a handful of instances when someone made racially offensive comment to me. And I’ve probably only came across a couple people in my life who were truly racist towards Asians. But every time, something happens like the death of Michael Brown, it resonates with me minorities of all races.
When people make racist remarks and actions, it makes other minorities second guess the value of their identity, their worth in society. If a white police officer can shoot and kill a unarmed black teen and is defended as a victim, what does this mean for the way that people can treat me, the way that people will treat my son? If the majority can get away with mistreating one minority, than it shakes the confidence in all minorities that we are protected and valued in our society.
If you really let this tragedy sink-in, it should rock the foundation of all our senses of freedom and justice regardless of race.
I have no idea how I’m going to explain racism to Ollie. I want so much for him the believe in the good in the souls of people, but unfortunately there are people who just don’t let that good shine through. For them, Ollie simply because of the fact he’s half-Asian, a fact that he should be proud of, will be judged differently.
When I think about people doing mean things to me, it’s annoying. When I think of people doing mean things to my wife Diana, I get angry and when I think of people being mean to Ollie, it’s reaches a level of fury.
I get why Martin Luther King Jr. talked about his kids in his famous "I Have A Dream Speech." It physically hurts to think of Ollie dealing with racism. For King and many in his movement, I imagine that they felt the same way.
If you don't understand my feelings, because you don't have kids or because you're not a minority, then you have got to trust us that this is an issue and do what you can. Yes, there are those who have less honorable motives when they make speeches against racism, but those people are few.
These thoughts bring me comfort but most of me still wishes I can protect Ollie from all the darkness in the world. I know that I can't and one day we will have to help him understand that not all people are nice. Until then, we will surround him with love and goodness so that when he meets someone who is racist, he will feel sympathy and compassion instead of anger and hate.
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