Top Ten of 2019: Part 5 - Dear Lucas

Dear Lucas,

As I type this, I feel your soft hair against my left cheek. The baby carrier is holding you cuddled against my chest. I sense your soft heartbeat against me and I see your body rise and fall gently as I breathe slowly. As I inhale through my nose, I smell the scent of your head, one of the most magical wonderful scents in the world, and I feel at peace.

Lucas, I want you to know that you were on my mind for most of 2019, and your presence in our lives motivated me to be a better person, inspired me to work hard for my community and my family, and gave me hope for the future.

Hope is a choice, and a force that needs to be nurtured. The two people who did this the most for me besides our family, who made me excited to bring you into this world more than anyone else was Brandi Carlile and Senator Elizabeth Warren.

Brandi Carlile is a musician, a singer and a songwriter and Senator Warren is a public servant, a teacher, and in my heart, I believe will be our next President.

Carlile started this year showing the world what I’ve known about her for years. Her performance of “The Joke,” at the Grammy’s was revelatory.



In the darkest moments of the past years, as we have suffered under the worst president in American history, it was Brandi’s music that got me through and gave me hope. Her music is powerful, personal, and challenging.

“The Joke” tells the story of those who are oppressed, and she reminds us all that the joke is on the oppressors. It’s explains that people who mean to do us harm, do far worse to themselves then they can ever do us. This song brings voice to those who do not have the place in society to be heard.

Carlile with joy, and grace kept working. As a member of The Highwomen, she co-created my favorite album of the year and she also helped produce Tanya Tucker’s While I’m Livin’ which is my second favorite album of 2019.

This led to my favorite teaching moment of the year, leading my 3rd graders in singing “Crowded Table,” by The Highwomen, a song that is everything I believe, and hope for in my life.



Brandi Carlile was successful this year because she used her power, and her position to bring voice to others. She continued to do more, dedicated herself to her family, and refused to stop fighting for others. She did all of this with incredible art that forced people to listen and pay attention.

2019 was a great year for me and the soundtrack of that year was Brandi Carlile.

Senator Elizabeth Warren was busy in 2019. There’s so many things I could tell you about, from how she chose to run her campaign to her many incredible speeches, and interviews.

The one moment that encapsulates everything that is important, and inspiring about Senator Warren happened when she was asked if she ever disappointed anyone who was close to her:



Senator Warren displayed in this moment everything that is takes to be a great leader. She was vulnerable, and respectful to her mother. She showed emotion, and also showed inner strength. In this moment she also reminded us that like all great leaders, she is a master teacher.

Her words continue to resonate long after they were spoken:

Sometimes you just got to do what’s right, inside, and hope that maybe the rest of the world will come around to it. And maybe they will, and maybe they won’t. The truth is that you got to take care of yourself first to do this.

Senator Warren is living this by the way she is running her campaign, and the way she was run her life. She understands that being right sometimes is lonely and is not easy, and that being right and true to yourself is one of the most important ways that we take care of ourselves.

Understanding what is right and wrong is a lot more difficult than it seems, and the ones who do wrong, and do harm, ignore the good within and convince themselves of another path. I’ll help you with this because it matters that you do what is right no matter how hard it may be.

Lucas, I want to promise to you that nothing you could do could make me feel disappointed in you, but I don’t think that’s something I can do, or should do. Being disappointed in people is not always a bad thing and it’s part of how we learn from each other.

What I can promise you is that I will continue to love you completely, no matter what you do. If you feel that you have disappointed me, know that my love for you will not be any less in that moment, or in any other moment in your life.

Love,
Dad

Parenthood: Week 347 – Every Day

In a recent podcast Dave Meltzer explained that one of the reasons that people in his generation grow and learn about what it means to be anti-racist and more accepting of diversity is through their children. Children, he explains, encourage us to grow and learn about new things in life. Children ensure that every single day of our lives is different.

Dave Melzer isn’t a parenting expert. He is a sports journalist who primarily focuses on professional wrestling and MMA. It is not an understatement to say that Meltzer is a genius, with an encyclopedic memory for sports. He is one of, if not the most prolific sports journalists of all time.  Check out this great New York Times profile about him.

One of the reasons I respect Meltzer so much is that he has incredible instincts about recognizing racism, how to respond to issues related to racism, and what it means to navigate the modern world with all that has progressed in society. His mind, and his understanding of the world makes professional wrestling a wonderful world to explore. Following along with Meltzer is one of the reasons that I follow professional wrestling.

Back to the opening statement…Meltzer is right.

If you want your life to basically be the same every day, it’s possible. Stick with the friends you made in high school and college, go to the same job, and have the same hobbies. The years will go by like lightning and you can expect nothing much to change in your life. If you are fortunate enough, you can have forty years of your life go by without much change.

If consistency and predictability is what you want out of life. Fine, do your thing.

However, if you want your life to be different every day, have kids.

Every single day of my life since having children has been unique. Unpredictability has become the norm. Sometimes Ethan will sleep through the night, others nights he will not. Some night Ollie doesn’t have a lot to say at the dinner table, while tonight he told us that he wanted a unibrow because he heard about it in the story someone read to him at school.

Development stages pass like the seasons, new adventures are always on the horizon, and there’s always new things to learn and explore. Children motivate me to try new things with them, and my children motivate me to want to learn and be a better me.

Pushing for consistently day to day with children in routines is important for structure but these routines aren’t a cage to control children but structures for children to grow like tomatoes moving up and around wooden stakes. You can’t predict exactly how a plant will grow, and that’s the exciting part.

Why kid number 3? Because I like that my life is different every day, and I want more of that. To me, what makes life awesome, interesting, emotional and powerful is the difference from day to day, what is unique about each morning, each afternoon, and each evening. Children ensure that every day is an adventure. It feels right for more of this, for myself, for my wife, and for my children.

I like the rollercoaster. It’s scary, but it’s fun. I’ve loved going on this ride with Diana, and I’m looking forward to bringing Ollie and Ethan along for the ride, as we welcome a special one into our lives.

Parenthood: 241 – Ethan - Week 13

Diana calls it his “Muppet-smile.” It’s when Ethan opens his mouth, his eyes, narrow slightly, and a gentle grin comes appears across his face.

This was a week of smiles, chuckles on the boarder of laughing, kicking, arms flailing about and progress sucking his thumb. While most of the time, Ethan just tries to cram his whole hand in his mouth, but he’s starting to get it. If he does get just his thumb in, the rest of his hand is open and he sometimes pokes himself in the eye.

Yes, it’s as adorable as it sounds.

Ethan is a delightful little baby. His bright eyes sparkle more than they cry. He reacts to smiles, and high-pitched greetings more and more each day. His little hands are beginning to grab hold of things that are important to him, clutching tightly onto our shirts as we try to put him down on his favorite elephant pillow.

He is at a great point when he is both adorably floppy but also starting to develop the strength to flip himself on his side and move his head independent. During chest naps, he now can move his head and push himself up. However, he doesn’t fully understood how his body works, so mild head butts when he hold him, and instances when he throws his head back do occurs, so you have to be careful.

Ethan adores Diana. He looks up to her with wonder, and awe. He knows when she is near, and often calms down when he is fussy in my arms, as soon as Diana holds him. There is a wonderful, and beautiful bond between them. Am I annoyed that he finds more comfort in Diana’s arms than mine right now? Sometimes, but mostly, I’m enjoying seeing the relationship between Ethan and Diana blossom. Seeing people you love unconditionally, loving each other completely is life-affirming, indescribable, and inspiring.

A couple days ago, I put Ethan on a playmat in the living room. Ollie was looking at his favorite Transformers book. I went to the kitchen for a minute and I heard Ollie start talking. I peeked out of the kitchen, and saw that Ollie had moved next to Ethan, and was telling him about the book. Ethan rolled over to the side to look at what Ollie was showing him, and for a wonderful, couple minutes, I watched Ollie being the great big brother, I know that he is and will continue to be.

Buffy has two beds. One in Ethan’s nursery, and one is in our bed room. Right now Ethan is still in a mini-crib in our bedroom and one of Buffy’s bed is right next to the mini-crib. When Ethan first came home, Buffy would sleep in the nursery away from where Ethan was sleeping. Every day for the past week, it has been different. I find Buffy at night settled in the nursery all by herself, and every morning, I find her on her bed right next to Ethan’s mini-crib, having moved closer to Ethan in the middle of the night. Sisterhood can be tough at times, and Buffy is doing a great job.

When I look into Ethan’s eyes, I’m reminded to savor the moment, to let time stop and be there for him. Holding him in my arms, even when he’s crying, is fulfilling, purposeful, and meaningful. The responsibility is a gift that motivates and focuses. There’s so much to cherish in each moment. There’s a magic, a spirit, that emanates from Ethan’s presence and enlightens my souls. It’s his tiny toes, the way he settles in my arms, his downy baby hair, and his adorable “Muppet-smiles.”

Foot

To Be Asian-American: Being Asian On Campus-Part 1

I first noticed them in the dining hall. They were always in that back right corner at a long table, a group of Asian students eating together. Then I started to notice other groups of Asian students around campus. They always seemed to be enjoying each other’s company, often with matching t-shirts or jackets.

I was aware that Northwestern University had a significant Asian-American population. That’s one of the reasons that I chose that school. I knew this was important but I didn’t know why. When I got to campus, much like how I socialized in high school, my group of friends was more related to marching band. I got to campus, had a great band camp experience the week before school started and that was my social group (which later expanded into my fraternity).

During the first couple weeks of school, I didn’t go to the various Asian student organization meetings. I was busy with marching band practice, and I had my group of marching band friends.

One of the wonderful things about Northwestern’s marching band at that time was that it was a cross-section of the campus. The band included students of all majors and many students of color.  It was a mix of Caucasians and students of color that felt right.

As I noticed these groups of Asian students sitting together in the dining hall and moving around campus, I started feeling uncomfortable. I was invited to their meetings, and it was my choice that I didn’t go to them. However I still felt excluded and it was this feeling of not being part of this group, that chipped away at my pride in being an Asian-American.

Every time I saw a group of Asian students together, it reminded me that I was Asian. I hated this reminder. This insecurity built a superiority complex. I felt better than them because I was “integrated.” I had white friends, I didn’t need to just hang out with other Asian people.

Like I discussed in last week’s post, Caucasian students would ask me about these groups and I chafed at the question. “I’m not one of them, I don’t know.” This community of Asian students who associated with each other because of their racial identity, were people I did not want to see. I didn’t know why at the time, I just wished that they would go away.

Every time I saw a group of Asian students together, I felt anxious and tense, but it passed and I forgot about it until another encounter. And then one night in the cafeteria, I got stuck behind a group of Asian students in line. They were speaking in Mandarin, I understood most of what they were saying and I felt annoyed at their happiness and laughter. I sat with my marching band friends and instead of joining in with the regular jokes and conversations I was sullen, trying to calm myself down.

We left our table as a group and exited the cafeteria. As we were heading toward the door of the dorm, another group of Asian students were congregating at the door talking and unaware that people were trying to pass (which is a very common thing for college students to do). As my friends worked their way through the crowd, I followed and started feeling nauseous and felt the heat of rage taking over my body.

Without saying by to my friends, I rushed off to my dorm room and dove into bed, my face buried in my pillow. Laying there in the darkness, tears welled up, but refused to release. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I didn’t know what to do, but in that moment, I realized that I needed help.

I sat up, went to my desk and turned on my computer.  In the glow of the computer screen, I saw a table tent, which had greeted me when I first moved into my room.

It read: CAPS - Counseling and Psychological Service.

Year 6: Week 13 – Being Married To A Teacher

Why was I shopping for fruits and vegetables that had seeds 9pm on Monday night at the grocery store? Because I’m married to a teacher.

Diana’s third graders were doing a science project exploring different kinds of seeds and I decided to pitch in and help by going out to buy some fruits and vegetables. I like going to grocery store anyways and we needed some other food. And it’s a good feeling knowing how my contribution will benefit Diana’s students.

While I’m in my tenth year of being a teacher, Diana is in her first year as a teacher. Throughout my career, Diana has provided incredible support. There is no way that I would still be a teacher without the hours of conversations we’ve had about school and my students and the countless number of tasks she has done to help me with my job. Every school that I have worked at owes Diana a salary as an educational consultant. Her ideas, insights and expertise consistently enrich the educational experience of my students.

Diana’s efforts as the spouse of a teacher while meaningful and special to me are not unique. Supporter partners of teachers are the unsung heroes of education.

There are teachers who can only afford to be a teacher because of their spouse’s financial support. Spouses of teachers do extra housework as their spouses grade paper late into the night due to an unreasonable amount of preparation time. They make bulletin boards, sift through stakes of used books, put together bookshelves, make costumes, clean classrooms, pack snacks, edit emails, help create lesson plans and more, making the overwhelming job of being a teacher manageable.

Now I know first hand, after being the recipient of Diana’s support for a decade, what it’s like to be the one on the other side. There’s always something I can do to help Diana. We talk about her lessons, problem-solve concerns and we laugh about the things that kids do that only teachers find hilarious.

I support my wife’s career because I love her but also because I know that my help is positively effecting Diana’s students. There is great satisfaction in the work I do with my own students but there is a different type of gratification knowing that I am able to assist Diana in doing the same thing. Empowering the people that you care about is one of the most meaningful way to show love.

So, to the spouses: Keep at it. Support you wife or husband who is a teacher. Be their strongest ally, and be their most enthusiastic supporter. Every little thing helps.  No job is too small.  In sharing this work, you will more acutely experience tribulations of being an educator, but you will also find more meaning in sharing the joy of teaching.

Year 6: Week 11 - Looking The Part

I've given up trying to look like a teacher. 

At my first teaching job, where I taught high school, we were instructed told to dress business casual and then on Fridays, we could dress down in jeans and a polo shirt.  The idea was that it was important to dress-up to distinguish ourselves from the students.  So I would wear khakis, a dress shirts and sometime I wore a tie.  Yes, this did separate me from the students but as most of the kids were taller than me and a lot of guys had more facial hair than me, simply dressing fancy didn't really help me get authority as a teacher. 

More than anything I was uncomfortable and I felt like it I was putting on an act.  This only added to my feeling that I couldn't authentically be myself at this job and I think that many of my students sensed this. 

When I entered elementary school land at my second job, more than the abundance of scarves, I noticed that teachers dressed my pragmatically. Teachers wore clothing that allowed them to comfortable sit in little chairs, and sit on the floor.  At this school teachers still dressed up but there was more individuality.  One teacher always wore varying colored converse sneakers and there was one teacher who had matching earrings, vest and sock sets for every single has holiday.

On my first day, I was told to wear comfortable pants like jeans and athletic shoes because the student I was working with was a flight risk (a kid who 

previously tried to run out of the school) and I needed to be ready to chase him if he ran.  I went with jeans and a nice shirt and this felt more natural.  

My current school is a JK-12 school.  While the administration dresses formally every day, the faculty dresses in all kinds of different ways.  Some teachers dress formally, others in t-shirts and jeans while others like myself are somewhere in-between.

Faculty members' dress seems to reflect the individuality we value in our students.  One English teacher wears suits with quirky shoes, one teacher only wears purple clothing and some of our teachers dress in traditional ethnic clothing.  

For me this means this means that my earring is in, I got jeans on, I wear colorful dress shirts and matching colored Qalo silicon wedding ring (my current obsession).  In years passed I wore friendship bracelets too, which I'm getting interested in revisiting.  

We still need to have a certain level of professionalism in our dress but that doesn't mean that we can't be individuals at the same time.

My school doesn't place high value on us looking like teachers.  This is clear in the way that teachers dress.  For us, it's more about helping students know us as people than seeing us as authority figures. It's interesting that while this has never been explicitly stated during my time at the school, the teachers and the community have picked up on this. 

Teachers are at their best when they are able to be themselves in front of their students.  For some of us, what we wear helps teaching become an expression of who we truly are, which helps our students embrace their own individuality.

Parenthood – Week 97: The Toddler Sonic Scream

There’s a superhero named the Banshee, a character from the X-Men comic book whose superpower is a sonic scream, which can not only cause damage to adversaries but also gives him the power of flight.

 

Do you know who else has this superpower (minus the flight)? My son.

The other night after coming back from a family walk, we noticed that Buffy had picked up some burs. Diana carefully carried Buffy into the house to carefully remove them from Buffy’s fur.  It was also time for Ollie’s bath, so I proceeded to try to get him up the stairs.

Ollie wanted Diana to give him the bath, but she was taking care of Buffy and there was no good reason for me not to spend some time with him getting him ready for bed.  He fought me as I took his jacket and shoes off and of course I won. Ollie protested asking for Diana, and I tried to calm him down but as he entered in full meltdown mode, I’m not sure if even Diana could get him to chill out.

So I scooped him up my crying toddler, cradled him against my and hip and started up the stairs. About halfway up the stairs, Ollie let out a scream. It was one of the loudest sounds I had ever heard a human being make (and I’ve heard opera singers up close). It was long, it was high, like E above the treble clef, and right up against my left ear. I swear, my ear was ringing for a couple seconds after the scream.

Ollie didn’t fight me through the bath, but he wasn’t exactly happy about the situation, crying throughout the process. Eventually Diana finished with Buffy and I handed Ollie off to her. Like many difficult situations raising a kid, an hour later, sitting on the couch after Ollie fell asleep, it was just a memory.

One of the difficulties of raising a toddler is the fact that along with their heightened ability to express themselves comes opinions and desires that can emotionally difficult to process for parents. Ollie wanted Diana; he didn’t want me. In that moments along with his epic scream, it was hard not to take his protests personally.

Once Ollie calmed down, Diana was clear with Ollie about how he needed to be nice to me and why she couldn’t be with him. I appreciate this because even though at this stage Ollie doesn’t completely understand what she’s saying, eventually he will and it’s important that we both get in the habit of supporting each other. While it’s important to validate Ollie’s feelings, he needs to learn how his actions affect the people he cares about.

In the moment after Ollie screamed at me, I became pretty quiet and just focused on getting his bath done. I’m the older party and yes, I’m more mature (most of the time), but it was hard to take his cries from my son, a person I spend so much of my day and energy thinking about and care for. But I’m not really mad at Ollie. I know that he doesn’t mean it.

Of course whenever he comes up for a hug or tells me he loves me, he means that.  None of the tantrums he expresses towards me are all that meaningful long term. You may laugh at this rationalization but it's true.

As Diana rocked Ollie to sleep only ten minutes after being upset, I heard him giggling with Diana and talking about his day.  I went into his darkened room and he said "hug dada," and leaned in towards me for a hug.  Then he said "hug mama," leaned back to Diana.  He went back and forth between hugging me and Diana, smiling at both of us.

Sharing love is what he comes back to, it's what we all want and cherish in our hearts.  It's who we truly are on the inside, if we let ourselves be for each other.

Frustration passes but love never does.

Parenthood: Week 96 - Toddler Logic

As usual, I brought up a sippy cup full of milk and a breakfast snack for Ollie to eat while me and Diana got ready in the morning.  After Diana and I were ready, we all headed downstairs to eat more substantive family breakfast.  

Ollie nicely put his sippy cup on the kitchen table and went off to read a book.  A couple minutes later Ollie asked for some water. When Diana handed it to him, he said he wanted milk.  Sometimes Ollie gets his words confused so this error is that not that big a deal.  I handed Ollie the sippy cup full of milk Ollie had put on the table, but then he waved away saying "no!"

I quickly figured out that Ollie wanted milk, but more specifically he wanted milk in the new cup.  Another possibility is that Ollie simply forgot that the sippy cup had milk.  

I had two options. I could simply dump out the water and transfer the milk into the new cup, which would most likely deescalate the situation or I could argue with him.  Being the more mature person in this exchange, who had an in depth knowledge of child development through an education and career as a teacher, I of course decided to argue with Ollie.  

"Ollie the milk is on this cup." [shaking the sippy cup full of milk]

"No. MALK!!!" [pointing to the cup full of water]

As our exchanged continued with both of us reinforcing our points of contention, both of us became more and more agitated.  Then suddenly mid-cry, Ollie took the milk sippy cup from me, smiled and happily walked away. I stood there confused, mystified, and slightly frustrating, trying to figure out what just happened.  

Toddler logic is one of the most mind-boggling and confusing things I have ever encountered.  While there are some parts of toddler logic that are easy to figure out, other times toddlers logic is simply baffling.  

In the toddler mind there are opinions, ideas and impulses that sometimes line up with their language abilities and others times doesn't.  This disconnect leads to a lot of misunderstandings and frustrations by both parents and their children.  The most difficult part of these situations is knowing how to best deal with these feelings.  

Sometimes it is best to just let it go and give in to their irrationality and sometime it works to not give in and let them work through their own issues.  To be honest, often my response has to do with my own stubbornness and my mood when dealing with my little guy.  And in my less rational moments, I need to remind myself of Ollie's developmental stage in order to act more logically.

Toddler logic isn't a unique stage in children's craziness.  Every day I sift through teenage logic and pre-teen logic with my students.  At times I get what is going on and others times I'm baffled.  Sometimes I let it go and other times I steer right into the haze and attempt to help make sense of what often seems like a complete lack of actual logic.  

Toddler logic is something I'm not as used to and while at times it's aggravating, I love that Ollie is trying to express himself and working to understand the world around him.  Though I can't shake the feeling that Ollie was simple messing with me the whole time. . . 

Year 5: Week 24 – Settling Down?

I was hired to shake things up.

When I came to this school one of my primary goals was to start a band program. Our school previously had a middle school choir/general music program and my job was to introduce band into the middle school music curriculum.

Along with this I revamped the 3rd & 5th grade general music curriculum. There was a lot of great stuff in the curriculum that I inherited but there was a need to evolve this class to make it more relevant and diverse.

So I got it done. It was crazy and in retrospect I have a hard time remembering how I managed all of that work that year. I was really looking forward to the second and third year being calmer because I would be able to build off work from the previous year. It didn’t work out that way. We added more band classes and I become an even more active member of the community participating on various committees.

Every year I’ve been here, there’s always been something new to focus on, some new club, performance or project to work. Why can’t I just teach?

Part of me really wishes that I could just focus on my lesson planning and teaching, and glide a little bit.  I could work off lesson I did in previous years, repeat a lot of material year to year and enjoy the calmness of it all, but it’s never worked out that way.

Is it because of the expectations of my peers and my administrators? Maybe it’s just because I started my time here to help this school evolve and this has never stopped being something people look to me to do.

After talking about this with Diana, I realized that it’s not my school that has pressured me to work this way. It’s just the teacher that I am. My school has simply embraced the educator that I am and enabled me to constantly innovate and continue to work on crazy projects every year.

Most of the time I love how my brain works, how it’s constantly struggling to look at things from other angles and come up with new ways to think about educating my students. However sometimes it’s exhausting and it really has become a struggle to focus on the present, especially in this past week.

Some of this is fear. I’m looking at things I haven’t done before, and some of it is the fact there is so much to be done.  I couldn't get to sleep last night because of an ever growing to do list in my brain.  I know once I get moving on some of these things and work through the process I'll feel better, but right now it just all seems like more than I can handle.

The reason why I don't think I should worry is that this isn't the first time I've felt this way.  When I started the band program, the reality was that I had never taught middle school band.  I often completely  feltill-equipped for the task that was laid out before me.  However my administrators trusted me, I worked hard for my kids and we got there.

I know I'll get to that point.  I always do.  Until, then I'll try to pause and enjoy the present fruits of my past labors.

Year 5: Week 20 – Recorder-land

Beside the fact that I work with middle school students, the part of my job that people think is the unimaginable (and horrible) is teaching recorder.

One of my favorite principals observed one of my recorder lessons a couple years ago. She told me later that she had no idea how I managed to teach that class, and focus on the students with the sound of so many beginning recorder players. It was so bad that she confided in me later that the she turned off her hearing aid halfway through the class.

At my school the students start recorder about halfway through third grade and continue to use them in music class until the end of fifth grade. We weave the use of this instrument into activities and songs that we learn. It is one of the primary tools we use to teach note-reading, and this instrument helps students understand the family of wind instruments.

This week was a big week for recorders in my teaching world. The third graders started the recorder and I introduced my fifth graders to the alto recorder.

For about three weeks I’ve been lecturing my third graders to prepare them for their recorder quiz and showing them clips of professional level recorder players. I tell them that if they do not pass their recorder quiz, they will not get it. In reality, my third graders get so worked up about this idea of a “quiz” and being the one kid that doesn’t get the recorder that all of them pass every year.

It’s a simple quiz designed to help them start asking themselves about the recorder when they get it in their hands. I go over basics of which hand is on top, whether to start with slow or fast air, placement of recorder in the mouth and troubleshooting (e.g. make sure to cover all of the holes).

They deal with the lectures and this quiz because for some reason the third graders are insanely excited about the recorder. This unfortunately changes by fifth grade.

The recorder for many of my fifth graders has become a drag. For some of them, the note-reading has gotten in the way of making music and others simply have motivation and the patience to learn harder notes on the instrument.

To combat this feeling, I’ve done two things. The first thing is that I’ve created a packet of pop songs and written the recorder notes underneath the lyrics, “Some Nights,” “We Will Rock You,” “Let It Go,” “Shake It Off,” and “Rock and Roll Part 2.” These songs are a wide variety of skill level and purposely appeal to different genders. The idea is that kids will be learning songs that they like and want to learn and will be willing to work through the newer notes.

It’s been working really well. The kids enjoy having some freedom of song choice and breaking up in small groups to work through the songs. Along with a fingering chart, and how the song goes in their head, they have all the tools they need to make music.

I’m lucky to have seven alto recorders. During work time on the packets, I let each kid spend a couple minutes trying an alto recorder. I offered it as a different sound and an extra-challenge. In each class I had about four kids end up really liking the sound and the challenge of the instrument. Some of these students were the high-achievers in the class but a couple of the people who got most excited about the alto were some of my boys who aren’t as into the recorder and music class.

Between the excitement of my third graders and hearing my fifth graders explore the alto recorder and work really hard to make the jumps in “Let It Go” sound smooth, it’s been a good week for recorders in my life.

Parenthood - Week 83: Christmas And Then Some

We really enjoyed our time with Ollie this past week of Christmas. For us it just wasn’t one day,. First there was dinner with Diana’s immediate family on Christmas eve, then we had our own family Christmas time on the morning of the 25th, there was the gathering with Diana’s maternal extended family and then a Christmas gathering at my parents house a couple days later. Oh, and I can’t forget the Diana’s paternal extended family who got together the weekend before. So in total Ollie had five Christmas gatherings.

Ollie did really great this year. He can handle staying up pass his bedtime better than he did last year. Now that he can walk, he can more independently through a room and with the words he learns everyday he can better advocate for himself. While we make sure we know where he is at all times, we feel less of a need to be watching him for the entire time we are at one of these gatherings.

Ollie is starting to get the idea of what this whole holiday season is about. He got more excited about gifts then he did last year, but he also got bored of the process of opening them. Ollie met Santa Claus for the first time and cried angrily through most of this experience (though he loved Mrs. Claus). Every morning when he came downstairs and our Christmas tree lights were not on, he got very concerned until one of us plugged in the strip of lights.

This holiday seasons Ollie decorated his first gingerbread man, made his first tree ornament and made Christmas cookies with his grandmother for the first time. He also learned the song, “Itsy Bitsy Spider,” figured out where his ears are and learned how to put his dirty laundry in the hamper.

Overall it was a fantastic week. Yes, it was a little crazy but we got through all of the various family get-togethers and still managed to carve outßß some time for us to enjoy this time as family.

This will probably be the last year we slept in on Christmas morning because Ollie didn’t realize the emphasis on opening presents this year. This is probably the last year he doesn’t have specific request Christmas presents. However, we can still emphasize with Ollie what was the most important part of this holiday.

The desire to share life together as a family is at the center of the most important holidays from different cultures. This is why we get onto planes with toddlers and drive hours through snowstorms.

I’m not sure what Ollie got out of this past. I hope he enjoyed the energy and positivity o this time of year, but more than that I wish that he left this past week with beautiful memories of his family.

Frat Boy: Saga Dining Hall - Part 5

We reconvened in the common room of PMA. It was here that we took the time to the let the “chefs” explain their dishes and we revealed the point totals that of course, proved once and forever the superiority of the senior class.

It wasn’t until a day or two later that we went back to Saga. The events of the weekend encouraged us to go out to eat and I think some of us wanted to avoid going back to the scene of the crime.

I remember walking over to Saga with Mary feeling worried and regretful. Yes, we had fun but it felt like we had taken advantage of this place that meant so much to us and had put unnecessary stress on the staff.

We walked in, saw a pretty good sized crowd already at our table, swiped in, smiled to the lady greeting us and got settled down for lunch.

At the table there was a lot of nervous talk about how much trouble we had gotten into and whether or not we needed to make a formal apology. As we discussed and speculated, Mary stood up. We immediately fell silent as Mary walked over and we watched nervously as she discussed what happened a couple days earlier with the lady who swiped us in.

None of us could hear the conversation but we could tell that both Mary and the lady were smiling. At some point she laughed and Mary joined her. Mary came back to our table, quietly sat down and explained that the staff had found our Saga Iron Chef hilarious. The manager (who we didn’t care about) was angry and annoyed at us but the staff who we knew and cared about loved seeing us have so much fun.

A huge wave a relief permeated across the table as we continued our lunch.

When you are in college in a group of people it’s easy to feel like you own a place, and we felt like we owned the Plex. It was our tables, our cafeteria, and it was part of our home. We didn’t think about the consequences of leaving a mess at our table, we didn’t consider when we loudly and openly complained about the food that people who made the food were in earshot and we didn’t always think about the workers who served us as people

Chances are if we asked the staff or the management to help us with our silly event they would have be happy to support us or even participate.

I’m glad that we had fun, but even more than that, I’m glad that this event reminded us that Saga wasn’t just about us and that our actions effected other people. This place that we loved so much, was special not only because of the people who ate there but also because the people who worked there. When I think about things that I miss from college, Saga is one of the first things that come to mind. There’s times at work, when I’m sitting at a table with some of my kids or other teachers that it approaches that same vibe, but its not the same.

 NUMB brought us together, PMA and SAI allowed us to become a family, but it was Saga that gave us that shared experience that connection to each other every day. The food wasn’t great at Saga, but at those tables, I had some of the most meaningful eating experiences of my life.

I love food, but more than my love of food, I value the experience of sharing a meal with people. I’ll never sit at that table with those people eating that food ever again.  And that's what made Saga so special.

Don’t judge a book by its cover and don’t judge a meal by its food.

Year 5: Week 1 - Blue Hat, Green Hat

This is the introduction I gave for our first department meeting of the year.

I’ve really enjoyed reading books to Ollie over the summer break. He’s starting to recognize books and he will bring a book over for me to read to him, which is adorable. One of his favorite books is “Blue Hat, Green Hat,” by Sandra Boynton. It has a theme in it that I feel really resonates with our experiences at this school. Let me read this book to you.



Think about the turkey. He’s wearing clothing the wrong way throughout the book, but he’s not really disturbed about this fact. In the end of the book he’s the one who happily plunges into the pool while everyone looks on with envy.

In every class we teach, there’s a few turkeys. Sometimes it’s a student who picks up a tambourine and plays it in an unconventional way. Other times it’s a students who figures out a way to use a music app on an iPad in a way that we don't expect.  Sometimes these students are being distracting and are purposely being contrary, but most of the time these students are being creative in ways that we don’t predict.  Take time when these moments arise to consider what this student is doing. Maybe he or her creative way of looking at an instrument will teach the whole class something important and meaningful.

As teachers, we are turkeys every day. We teach in one of the most progressive schools in the state. Our approach to students, curriculum, instruction and assessment makes us look like a turkey to the vast majority of the teachers in America. As people are moving towards more standardized testing and common core standards, we are focusing on helping students learn through group projects and progressive teaching activities.

Even within our department I’ve been a part of conversations that make us look like turkeys within our school. We’ve talked about getting rid of the chairs in the lower school music room, utilizing technology in the middle school band program in new ways and creating different and innovative ways to help our students experience music.

Ultimately being a turkey, trying new things, and going against assumptions is where creativity and the most meaningful learning occurs. We value this in our students but sometimes the fact that this looks like a turkey putting a shoe on his head makes it not clear that something truly creative is happening.

So next time a students does something in an unconventional way, pause before correcting them and think about how they are exploring and maybe even have a conversations with them so that they can explain their thinking.

Be brave, be a turkey. Don’t get bogged down by what has been done in the past or the way other people do things.  Focus more on "why not?" than "can not."  In these moments, be proud and don’t say “oops.”

Later in the year, I want you to share a story of when you observed one of your students being a turkey and a story of you being a turkey yourself.  I'm looking forward to a great year with all of you.