This week was crunch time for my kids to make good progress on their songs for their performance in two weeks. They don’t understand this fact, but it’s something that I have come to understand about the students in this community and the way that I need to work.
Students at this school in general do not respond well to game-day pressure. An approach that cranks up the stress the closer we get to a performance goes against the philosophy of our school. As a learning community, we focus on the process over the product and finding as much meaning in a day of class as the performance. We like to say that if the performance was cancelled that we wouldn’t feel that the work was for nothing.
There’s a personal issue going on here two. When I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease (which you can read about in these posts), I realized that I needed to better manage the stress in my life. Some of my symptoms were psychosomatic that were triggered by stress. So I had to figure out a way to be on stage, teach students that regularly performed, and not be a ball of stress.
I did some therapy, learned some stress-management techniques (biofeedback therapy), and refocused how I taught. I was not going to be a teacher that placed undo stress and pressure on my students and myself to perform. I was going to focus on the act of preparation, aim for accomplishments that were made every class, that were rewarding and create an environment that would not negatively affect my health.
It wasn’t until I came to this school that I had a learning community that reflected this personal need to work in a way that reflected my personal health needs and my educational philosophy. If one of my bands plays three songs instead of four, no one is going to complain. There is a different kind of pressure to make every class meaningful, but I don’t feel as much stress in that focus because if I fail in that, than we simply have a less meaningful class.
There are kids who respond to stress as a motivator. Maybe some of my kids need more stress motivation from me to succeed. Maybe I’m failing them in this way, but this is what works for me. Part of education is giving kids what they need to succeed, but another part of teaching is showing people another way, a better way. If a kid can learn how to succeed in an atmosphere of focus and relaxation, even though what they normally respond to better is stress, then they will learn a way, as I have to live a life that filled with more contentment, and smiles.
There’s more to do next week. Of course I’m behind in my preparation, which I always am (welcome to being a teacher). We had some meaningful times in class that I’m proud to say we don’t need a performance to justify. This is often referred to as the last push before Winter break. I prefer to think of it as a time of pay-off, when things come together and because of focused work, the rehearsals leading up to the performance are less about frustrations and stress, and more about joy and sharing, for myself and my students.
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