About a week ago during a discussion I was having with Diana, she asked me what I wanted to get out of the Christmas holiday. I was facing a number of days with different events, outings and family parties. With every one of these experiences, there was a level of stress and effort expended. Getting a baby and a four-year-old out of the house by 9:00am to get downtown to visit a museum takes a lot of doing. At the time of the our discussion, it was the “doing” that was on our mind.
I grew up celebrating the secular version of Christmas. We’d get a tree, get presents, put up decorations, and make cookies. This may have been partially prompted by the fact that one of my father’s jobs when I was a young child was working at a Hallmark greeting card store (yup, these used to exists), that sold, cards, ornaments, and holiday supplies.
I appreciate that my parents did the best they could to replicate what they viewed as a central American experience. My parents are not Christian, and while the capitalistic influence of Christmas for many is distasteful, it is exactly this influence which has seemed to create the secular version of Christmas which people of different religions embrace (e.g. the modern version of Santa Claus was heavily influenced by the Coca Cola company). At the same time, I've always been a feeling of being on the outside looking in, and this continued despite the wonderful warm way, my wife’s immediate and extended family included me in their Christmas traditions.
I’m not sure what I want Christmas to be for my kids, so I let my wife take the lead. Diana was raised Catholic and her family always made a big deal out of Christmas. So I’ve gone along with her ideas and suggestions. Before having kids, there was a novelty to getting the tree and doing other Christmas stuff, however now things feel different. We are creating an experience for our kids, and there is a feeling of responsibility to get it right.
This year got a tree, saw a Holiday play, visited Christkindlmarket, walked through the Wonderland Express model train exhibition at the Botanic Gardens, went to two extended family Christmas parties, did Christmas eve with Diana’s immediate family, and more. When I reflect on all the preparations, work, and effort me and Diana put forth to make all of this happen, it doesn’t seem that bad (well, many challenging parents moments quickly fade, so that's part of this).
I see through Ollie’s eyes a sense of wonder that cuts through the challenges of this time of year. He doesn’t know about the commercialism, he’s just really interested in the reindeer names, enjoys looking at Christmas lights, presents, and playing with extended family members. Ethan is completely unaware of what’s going on, but the look of joy, and love, that every family member who held Ethan had in their face as they enthusiastically welcomed him into the family, overshadowed the long dark car rides.
If all I get out of the Christmas season is the happiness of Diana, and my two boys, that’s more than worth it. In my reading of the Gospel, it seems like this is where we are suppose to be as good people: feeling joy and gaining meaning through giving and doing for others. That’s enough for me. . . and getting stuff IS nice, (Diana got me an Lin-Manuel Miranda sweater!!!!).
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