Our family went on an adventure last week to Hawaii. It was a great time, but like anything with children it had its challenges. One of the things that you come to realize as a parent is that every time you take your children anywhere it requires a level of effort, and a roll of the dice. There’s a chance that everything can go right, and a great time is had by all. However, there’s also a chance that things could go wrong.
You could run out of diapers at the worst moment possible, your child could have a meltdown for seemingly no reason, or you could your car could break down, which is a much more challenging situation with a baby in the car.
With the roll of the dice, the rewards are also greater. The good times in life are more meaningful and memorable when they are shared with your children. There is a level of accomplishment that is felt when you get home after an outing, and your children are the best kind of tired. The effort seems worth it when parental amnesia kicks in and the memory of the eight-hour plane flight fades while the wonderful feeling of seeing your son play in the ocean waves for the first time solidifies.
This Hawaii trip was a massive roll of the dice, and it paid off in ways that I never imagined. Any way you spin it a flight to Hawaii from Chicago with children is going to be rough. The time change is going to be a challenge and having children completely out of their routine makes meltdowns more likely.
There were many wonderful moments and new experiences we got to share with our children, however the thing that stuck with me the most was how time felt on this trip.
I live my daily life almost always conscientious of time. Maybe it’s because I have never lived my life since a child not living the structure of a pre-determined school schedule. Or maybe it’s because of the punctuality of my parents who put great value in showing respect through valuing another person’s time and your own. Whatever it is, I’m constantly thinking about the passage of time.
On this trip for the first time I can remember I had moments when I let go of thinking about time. It happened when I was playing in the pool with my children, exploring tide-pools formed out of volcanic rock, staying up late talking to Diana after the boys had went to bed, and lounging in a pool chair with Ollie. Time existed in my present but it’s passage wasn’t on my mind. It was unnerving at first like I walking on a tightrope without a net, but after a while it felt liberating. In this space I was more present to enjoy life, and time with my family.
Time enables us to do more as parents. It helps us teach our children to manage their bodies, and it makes it possible to explore the world around them and connect with others. However, time on our mind, can limit our present thoughts and our ability to be an active parent.
Ollie is at an age when he asks a lot of questions. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have time to answer all of them as well as I would like to, but on this trip I felt like I did. This felt wonderful as a father. I'm not sure how to create this feeling in my life at home, but I will figure a way to have more time away from time.
My family is worth it.
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