Top 10 of 2018: Part 6 - The Sister Survivors

Top 10 of 2018
To review, here's how to got here (hyperlinked to the posts)
10. The Rowdy One - Ronda Rousey In The WWE
9. By The Way, Brandi Is Back - Brand Carlile's Incredible New Album
8. Two Years Later - 2018 Elections
7. Baha - Ethan's Hearing Aid
6. She Persisted - The MX
5. Of Color - Affinity Spaces
4. Reading To Me - Ollie Learning How To Read
3. The Attack - Buffy...
2. Asian-Aaron Burr, Sir

1. The Sister Survivors

It was a story about children and parents. It was a story with incredible heroes and villains, some pathetic for their inaction and one that was evil beyond comprehension. It was an uniquely American story in it focus on sports and competition, and “success” as an ends to justify the worst “means.” It was a story that defined strength and courage as the act of speaking truth to power as opposed to muscular strength and masculine bravado.

It was a story about the value put on women and girls in our society and the consequence of allowing men to define their masculinity at the cost of others. It is a story about oppression, exploitation, sexuality, and empathy. To me it was the single most meaningful story of 2018.  It defined the year and continues to resonate in the way I look at America and the people in my life.

It is the story of the Sister Survivors.

What happened in 2018 was not the beginning or an end but an important moment in this story. Larry Nassar had been abusing girls for decades and the litigation to hold people accountable continues far past Nassar’s sentencing. Those who heard the reports about his abusive actions and did not act have not all yet been held accountable, and the money the Sister Survivors are due are tied up in the courts cruelly dragging out this process. However, what happened this year was a significant turning point.

America was forced to see the pain and the horror of the abuse as the Sister Survivors testifies during the sentencing hearing. Judged Aqualina opened the court for these women to have a moment to face Nassar. Their words were more than testimonies. They were essential stories, lectures, and lessons about the sins and failure not just of a one person but of all of us as a whole society.



During the ESPYS a couple months later we saw these women again not in a court but on stage. We were reminded in that moment that beyond victims, they were full of strength and spirit. They were survivors and sisters.


In a year where the renaissance of podcasts continued, Believed, which told the story of the Nassar case provided more background and incredible depth. Like other great podcasts, it once again proved that some stories are told best in the time, space, and humanity only that podcast provide.

I can go on about the importance of this case in every facet of our society but for fear of mansplaining I will not. Writers like Alanna Vagianos of the Huffington Post in her series about this case analyzes this story far better than me. So instead I will talk about how this story has changed me and my life.

When Dr. Blassey Ford testified against that guy being in the Supreme Court, I saw how Nassar’s victims will carry their pain their entire lives. When that TSA agent called Diana, my wife, “hon,” and I could see in her eyes that it bothered her, I knew that she didn’t feel free to speak up because of the position of power of the agent. It hurt my heart to see this, and feel a much lesser degree of helplessness not knowing how to speak up for her.

When I see my niece instead of opening my arms up for a hug and pick her up when I greet her, I ask her if I can give her a hug. When Ollie says anything that even hints at gener stereotypes, we talk about it.  We've discussed everything from hair length, to whoo does the laundry and who cooks dinner.

When I see girls, soon to be women in my classroom I know that my job is not to treat all my students equally. I have to address sexual oppression explicitly and consistently. How I educate all of my students may be the difference in preventing Nassar-like abuse. It’s not enough to be “fair” being feminist is the baseline, as we do the essential work addressing and deconstructing harmful expressions of masculinity.

Tupac wondered in “Keep Ya Head Up":

Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women,
be real to our women. 

We aren’t at that moment yet when we are all doing all we can for our women but because of the Sister Survivors, that time is closer than its ever been before.