I have the privilege of having child-rearing leave, which unfortunately is not a universal right. My leave is an expression of the value that my school places on my life outside of school, and how they view parent's roles in children’s lives.
Male-identified cis-gender parents do no need child-rearing leave to recover from child-labor. Yes, for Lucas, I went an entire day with little to no sleep, but physically beside being tired, I could have gone back to work the next day. Diana could not.
So, what did I do during my child-rearing leave?
I got up early in the morning with Ethan and Ollie, got them breakfast and helped them get ready for school. I dropped both of them off. When I got home, I cooked, I cleaned, and I did laundry. I took care of various chores and projects around the house. In the early afternoon, I picked up my kids from school, did after school snacks, helped with homework and played with them. During this time, I cooked dinner, cleaned up around the house. We ate dinner and after dinner there was some more family time, and then bedtime routine.
During all of this time, I had time with Lucas, our new baby, cuddling with him, changing diapers, giving him a bath, and hanging out with him.
In short, I took care of things with my two older sons and the house so that Diana could physically recover from child labor and nurse Lucas. Diana did a great job with taking care of herself and Lucas, and even though it was our third son, it was still challenging and physically taxing for her.
It was a lot of work. There was always something to do, whether it was needing to clean poo out of a onesie, grocery shopping, or ordering more diapers. It was also a respite. I love my job as a teacher, but I haven’t really been away from my job in a very long time. I worked over the summer at my job and the planning and stress of work rarely leaves me. For this leave, more than my other two leaves, I was completely out of work mode.
Part of this had to do with the timing. Lucas was born two weeks before Winter break. The week right before winter break was our big elementary school performance, one of the biggest events of the school year and one of the most stressful times of year for me. So, I wasn’t there for this, and I knew that giving my substitute space to do the work without me hovering over would be the important for him to be successful. Also, there wasn’t much I could from long distance, so I let it go.
It was really nice to have a break from it all, and focus on my family. I don’t feel physically revitalized because newborns don’t sleep well, and Ethan, my 2-year-old expressed the addition of a brother in his life by not sleeping very well...and screaming in the middle of the night..multiple time…throughout the night and early morning (more about this later). I do feel my spirit brighter and my heart is more full. I’m thinking about tomorrow morning going back and how tired I’ll be, and also how excited I am to see my students and reconnect with my colleagues. It’s going to be a lot work to get back to it all and get back in the swing of things. I’m going to work hard at this, and I’m also going to try to make sure and pause and simply enjoy being back in the school that I love so much.
There were times during my leave when I felt like I had to do more than take a chest with my baby, or do something besides lovingly cradle and gaze at him as he looked up at me. In these moments I would smell Lucas’ head, and quiet the voice in my head.
My school gave me time off to cuddle my baby, and for this and seeing all that I am as important, I’m grateful.
No comments:
Post a Comment