This ear is unique due to microtia, defined as a birth defect linked to Ethan’s hearing loss. But I don’t see his ear as being defective. It’s unique, and it’s part of what makes Ethan beautiful. Yes, Ethan doesn’t hear as other people do, but he doesn’t “suffer” from hearing loss. He dances to music, sings along with songs from Encanto, and even though he doesn’t hear as other people do with typical hearing, he is not less than.
This little ear holds up a headband.
Attached to the headband is his Baha, a bone-conduction hearing device. This hearing aid helps Ethan hear, and this little ear keeps the band in place. Sometimes the band drops and bends Ethan’s ear down, and Ethan pushes it up and rubs his ear. Other times Ethan takes a “Baha-break.” Sometimes he does this so he can change into his Hulk costume. Sometimes he does this because he wants to lie down, and other times he takes off his hearing aid because his little ear needs a break from holding up his headband.
This little ear has had to hold back the straps of a mask for the past two years.
The straps don’t have a lot of space behind the ear to stay secure, and the little ear is not tall enough to easily hold a mask in place. But this little ear has managed to keep a mask secure in school, playgrounds, and stores. It’s not easy to slip this mask on. There’s only a small space where the loop goes behind this little ear where the mask strap will stay. Combined with his Baha band, this little ear is doing so much so that Ethan can fully be in the world.
Like his little ear, Ethan is doing so much to get through this pandemic. With all that is being asked of him, Ethan is growing, learning, and bringing light to all of our lives. Ethan only vaguely understands what he is missing because of this pandemic. He knows he doesn’t see my parents as much as he should, but he doesn’t know how much he is missing in his interactions because of what masks are hiding from him.
One day, when Ethan is much older, I will explain to him that a challenge he has in his life is not his fault. It is because of what the pandemic took from him. It will be difficult for me to say what it meant to ask my special little guy to bear much for the sake of others, while others did so little.
I hope this will make him more proud of himself than bitter at others. I hope that he knows what he gave during this pandemic meant something to others. I hope that he knows that we struggled every day of the pandemic, hating to make him cover his beautiful smile with a mask.
And I hope he understands that it made my heart hurt every time I had to pull the strap of a mask behind his little ear.
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