Lucas was in his crib, and Ollie and Ethan were in their beds. It was about 8:00 pm, and it looked like everyone was going to get to bed on time. As I read a book to Ollie and Ethan, we could all hear Lucas crying. Generally, Lucas is pretty easy to get to bed in the evening. He’s not a cuddle-to-sleep kind of kid. Since he was a baby, Lucas liked to go to sleep by himself, so I did the normal routine. We read a book together. I gave him a hug and kiss and put him in his crib. Sometimes I would hear him cry a little bit, but he would be asleep more often than not within ten minutes.
It had been about twenty minutes as he was still up and clearly not happy.
“I think Lucas wants to play,” Ethan told me.
“But it was bedtime, and it was time to go sleep,” I thought to myself, determined to get my kids to sleep on time.
Our bedtime varies, but we try to get them settled in around 8:00-8:30 pm. It’s hard with three children to get them to bed at a specific time, but we manage most of the time to get them settled in by 8:30 pm. Our routine has changed and evolved. Currently, Diana reads to Ollie, and I read to Ethan. Then, I cuddle Ethan and sit in his room while he sleeps. Usually, after Ethan goes to sleep, Ollie comes into the room and settles into his bed. One of us puts Lucas to sleep before Diana reads to Ollie or after I read to Ethan.
This night was different. Diana was going out to visit some friends, so it meant that I was on my own with my children. We did the whole routine, and when Diana left close to 8:00, things were pretty much on track. Now I don’t know if Lucas knew that she was gone or he sensed that it was Friday night, but he was not going to bed.
Annoyed at the situation, I got out of bed and with Ethan following close behind to check on Lucas. I entered his dark nursery and saw him standing up in his crib. I reached out to pick him up, and he crumbled down and rolled into the corner. I think he was expected Diana to come. However, once he noticed Ethan was in his room, he stood back up and smiled. I lifted Lucas out of bed, and before I knew it, he was off running out of the room after Ethan.
My first instinct was to grab Lucas and try to get him to settle down, but he was so energized by seeing his brother, I decided to let it go. I looked at my phone and told myself I would wait five minutes and then settle them down.
About twenty minutes later…
At that moment, watching them make themselves dizzy, I decided to stop being frustrated that they weren’t in bed and let them laugh and enjoy spending time with each other.
Soon after that…
There are times to enforce boundaries, and there are times when laughter fills the air to let things go. For example, a couple of days ago, I told Ollie to turn off the television. He didn’t respond, but when I looked over and saw all three of my children laughing in pure joy at the episode of Bluey on the television, I decided to let them watch a little bit longer. A similar thing happened when I let Ollie and Ethan play Mario Kart far longer than we had planned because they were having so much fun together.
The world is dark, and things continue to be complicated. And sometimes, we just need to let our children laugh. These moments are an important reminder of all that we are fighting for. And maybe, these memories will stay with my children and they will know that even in the worst of times, my children were there for each other.
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