Ollie is my first son. His entire life has shaped my life. Before he was born, I was already all-in to be a dad. So when I first met him, it felt like something I didn’t know I was missing had finally come into my life. I can’t imagine the last eight years of my life without Ollie. Everything good and positive in my life, in some way, is because of him. Ollie continued to bring meaning to my life throughout the pandemic.
It started at the beginning. We told Ollie about the shut down that we would have to stay in the house more, and this is what happened:
Ollie is a homebody like me, which made the whole “staying at home thing” a lot feel more like a bonus than a burden. As my wife and I struggled to balance doing our two jobs, both of which were now remote, Ollie continued to enjoy being at home and spending time with his brothers and us. Ollie does best with routine, so helping his routines forced me to create my own, which really helped me through the days at home.
For Ollie, the remote school thing wasn’t that bad because we didn’t ask him to do too much of it. Diana and I are both teachers, and we felt that we could handle keeping him up with his academics reasonably and that the remote school, at times, was not worth the stress and anxiety. So we didn’t do that much of it. Ollie didn’t sit in front of his iPad for hours a day. It wasn't what he needed. And I don’t regret our decision to let him prioritize playing with his brothers over remote schooling.
The fall of 2020 went well for Ollie. A couple of months before the pandemic hit, We decided to return Ollie to the school he had gone to previously. Unfortunately, the school he was at for kindergarten and first grade was not a good fit, so we decided to have him return to the school he was at for pre-k, which meant that he was now at the same school as his younger brother Ethan.
They were both in person from the first day of school. I don’t really remember being concerned about Ollie and the COVID-19 mitigations. I was more consumed in my feelings of going back and teaching in person. Like myself, Ollie had to figure out the type of mask that worked for him and got used to being in a small pod. However, because the educational situation, even with mitigations, was so better than at this previous school, Ollie really thrived in his second-grade year.
Ollie has never fought us about wearing a mask. He will forget social distance, but he will correct himself when reminded. I know he remembers a time before COVID-19, but I also know that it doesn’t take long for something to feel “normal” for an eight-year-old. In many ways, he has accepted this pandemic as a reality faster more than I have. He doesn't mourn what the pandemic has taken from all of us. This makes some things easier, but it also makes me sad.
We’ve worked hard to make it not feel like Ollie has less because of COVID-19, but he knows that we don’t see my parents as much as we used to before the pandemic. I’m sure he can sense my anxiety when we are in crowds. I wonder what these two years have done to him and how different he would be if this pandemic had never happened. I am worried about long-term effects of this pandemic on his mental health.
Ollie has had challenges throughout the pandemic, but when I think back at the past two years, they fade to the background. It's because Ollie's attitude has been really wonderful. Not everything is perfect, but he tries and when I've needed him the most, he's been exactly what I needed.
Ollie knows that there are bad things in the world. He knows that people have died of COVID-19, he knows trump is a horrible human being, and he knows he has to do more, like wearing masks, for others. However, he doesn’t fully understand how some people continue to act terribly around COVID-19 and exploit people’s fears and anxiety. It will be hard for him to process all of that when he does grasp all that has been going on, but I’ll help him through that as he has helped me get through these past two years.
Ollie likes to make people happy, and he’s really wonderful at doing just that. In the quiet moments, he will read a book to one of his brothers, and in his more energetic moments, he will act out a part of a movie with action figures with his brothers as they all erupt in laughter.
Ollie taught me that parenting is hard work, and the rewards are always more than worth it. Sometimes it takes time for the positive to come back to you, but it always does. Every single night for this entire pandemic, I have kissed Ollie good night with love and gratitude. I have never felt bitter for all I have had to do for Ollie throughout this pandemic. He continues to bring meaning to my life efforts every day and fill our house with laughter during the worst of times
I never understood what "pride and joy" meant until Ollie came into my life. And feeling that every day when I look into Ollie's eyes gives me strength, courage, and love.
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