In a recent podcast Dave Meltzer explained that one of the reasons that people in his generation grow and learn about what it means to be anti-racist and more accepting of diversity is through their children. Children, he explains, encourage us to grow and learn about new things in life. Children ensure that every single day of our lives is different.
Dave Melzer isn’t a parenting expert. He is a sports journalist who primarily focuses on professional wrestling and MMA. It is not an understatement to say that Meltzer is a genius, with an encyclopedic memory for sports. He is one of, if not the most prolific sports journalists of all time. Check out this great New York Times profile about him.
One of the reasons I respect Meltzer so much is that he has incredible instincts about recognizing racism, how to respond to issues related to racism, and what it means to navigate the modern world with all that has progressed in society. His mind, and his understanding of the world makes professional wrestling a wonderful world to explore. Following along with Meltzer is one of the reasons that I follow professional wrestling.
Back to the opening statement…Meltzer is right.
If you want your life to basically be the same every day, it’s possible. Stick with the friends you made in high school and college, go to the same job, and have the same hobbies. The years will go by like lightning and you can expect nothing much to change in your life. If you are fortunate enough, you can have forty years of your life go by without much change.
If consistency and predictability is what you want out of life. Fine, do your thing.
However, if you want your life to be different every day, have kids.
Every single day of my life since having children has been unique. Unpredictability has become the norm. Sometimes Ethan will sleep through the night, others nights he will not. Some night Ollie doesn’t have a lot to say at the dinner table, while tonight he told us that he wanted a unibrow because he heard about it in the story someone read to him at school.
Development stages pass like the seasons, new adventures are always on the horizon, and there’s always new things to learn and explore. Children motivate me to try new things with them, and my children motivate me to want to learn and be a better me.
Pushing for consistently day to day with children in routines is important for structure but these routines aren’t a cage to control children but structures for children to grow like tomatoes moving up and around wooden stakes. You can’t predict exactly how a plant will grow, and that’s the exciting part.
Why kid number 3? Because I like that my life is different every day, and I want more of that. To me, what makes life awesome, interesting, emotional and powerful is the difference from day to day, what is unique about each morning, each afternoon, and each evening. Children ensure that every day is an adventure. It feels right for more of this, for myself, for my wife, and for my children.
I like the rollercoaster. It’s scary, but it’s fun. I’ve loved going on this ride with Diana, and I’m looking forward to bringing Ollie and Ethan along for the ride, as we welcome a special one into our lives.
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