The Story by Brandi Carlile

Sometimes you find a song that expresses so accurately the way that you view the world that it feels like that you’ve known it your entire life.

 

When I first heard “The Story,” I was astounded. This is one of those instances in music where the parts individually are not that remarkable but when they are put together the create something unforgettable.

“The Story” is repetitive. There is one phrase that is repeated over and over with no bridge or chorus. The chords are unremarkable and go exactly where you expect them. The lyrics are insightful, but simple and outside of the context of the song may seem kind of trite.

The melody is perhaps the most interesting piece of the song. The first phrase rises up and down and then following phrases start on a high note and trickle down. This creates a sighing effect. It starts lower after a couple descending and gentle rises and falls before finally settling. Many people complain that modern pop songs don’t have artfully contoured melodies and “The Story” is an example of a truly amazing “Yesterday"- like melody.

The there’s Brandi Carlile’s voice. She’s in her early thirties, but the way she sings makes you feel like that she has lived lifetimes. She plays with the break in her voice between her head voice and chest voice like Sarah MaLachlan to a wonderful effect. It’s both mournful and triumphant expressing a feeling of being tired but also never giving up.

When you put these pieces together “The Story,” tells a remarkable tale of what it means to be a human being. The lines on our face, that come not only from tears but from laughter all create stories and like everything in life they do not mean anything if you have no one to share them with.

She sings about the stories, the places she’s been, the rule’s she has broken and how she did it all for her love because of the way that person made her feel. Then she breaks free of illusions, admitting that her head is a mess. It is in this moment, the time when she is at her most vulnerable that she realizes how much love she holds for this other person because they know her like nobody else does.

What makes our stories meaningful is what makes our lives worth living. We tell them to each other so that we can understand one another to create a more significant and lasting connection. These stories are happy, they are sad and sometimes they are painful, but they need to be told for us to find our way in this world.

You can hear every different kind of story in this song. The melody never changes, but the feelings do and like life itself, it's a truly amazing journey.

Year 3: Week 22 - The Teacher Who Does Everything

You know those teachers who do amazing things in the classroom and seem to be doing everything else on the planet at the same time?

I’m talking about that teacher is who is on multiple committees, is a department head, is active in the teacher association, maintains great parent communication, present at conferences, has kids at home AND still has time to hang out in the office and socialize with other teachers.

How do these teachers do it?

When I first started teaching, writing lesson plans, preparing to teach and doing grades took up all of my time at school and also a lot of time at home. I marveled at these teachers who seemed to have so much free time on their hands while doing all of these other things.

Seven years later, I find that I’m doing so much more than teaching. I’m on committees, I presented at a conference last year, I find time to meet with other teachers and I have a more fulfilling life then I’ve ever had outside of school. While my plate is getting more full, it’s still not at the level of other teachers who do even more then I do.

I initially thought that teachers who managed lots of things in school were superhuman. What I’ve realized is that there are a couple specific things that happen in the a teacher's development that allows them to have the time to broaden their life as a teacher.

Banking Lessons: When I first started teaching the vast majority of my lesson plans were new. Now that I’ve been at this for a while, I reuse a lot of lesson plans. Maybe half of lessons I taught this year  are from lessons I’ve previously taught. Using old worksheets and presentation materials save a lot of time. Even if you change the lesson plan, having something to work off of makes the process move a lot quicker.  Now there is a danger of overdoing and reusing too many old lessons and not adapting them, however there is no shame is using the exactly same worksheet, if it continues to fit the needs of your students.

Prioritizing: I worked very hard when I first started teaching, but I didn’t necessarily know how to prioritize. I would spend a lot of time on remedial tasks that I could let my students do during class and then I would run out of time to do more important things. Prioritizing is a difficult skill to learn because it requires that you don’t get everything you want to get done in a given day. This is something that comes with time as the voice in your head that says “it’s okay if this doesn’t get done,” becomes stronger.

Taking Care Of Yourself: One of the best ways to get more time on your hands and be more productive is to take care of yourself. Sleep, eating well, socializing and having a life outside of work, makes the time that you do work far more productive. It seems like a contradiction to spend time not working to get more work done but it does make a difference. In the context of the school day, this means spending time socializing with other teachers, eating lunch with students and making sure to have fun at work.

If you want to become one of those teachers who do many different things or our frustrated that you don't have enough time as a teacher to do what you want to do, first off, relax.  A lot of this comes with time and you just have to let yourself develop as a professional.

If you've been a teacher for a long time and you don't see your time easing up then try something different.  Change the way you lesson plan and do assessments.  Look at the way you do grading. More time does not necessarily equal better results and more meaningful learning by your students.

I'm still in awe of my colleagues who do so many great things every day beyond simply teaching in the classroom.  I'm beginning to realize that all teachers have the potential to get there with a healthy does of perspective, some patience and a willingness to evolve as a professional.

To Be A Man: Beyond Not Being Gay

Dan Savage wrote in a recent blog post that two negatives have traditionally defined male heterosexual identity: not being a girl and not being gay.

Unfortunately the same thing can be said for what it means to be a man.

A guy who has interests in what some think of as being “traditionally” for girls is often seen as not being as masculine. If your interests include musical theater, fashion or cooking there’s a good chance that someone called your masculinity and/or your sexuality into question.

Then there are the simple three words: Are you gay?  This question for many guys is an affront to their "manhood."  If we define masculinity solely on heterosexual male sexual expression, then there is no place for homosexuality in our collective definition of what it means to be a man.

By defining what it means to be a man, by what men aren’t we are narrowing the definitions of manhood to the point that we are exclude others in a way that is both discriminatory and very damaging to boys who are struggling to balance loving themselves and trying to grow up to be a man.

Let’s say that a boy is really interested in fashion, but he internalizes that his interests are not “manly,” because of what his parents tell him. This conflict may completely diminish the boy’s interests and lead to a devastatingly low self-esteem. Ironically, it could rob our culture of the next Calvin Klein, a fashion designer who for many defines masculinity.

Then there are the tragic results of what happens when boys are made to fell less valued not only as young men but human beings for being gay. The suicides and hate crimes are a sobering reminder of the consequences of letting insecurities become damaging and insidious aggression.

If we accept guys who have less "manly" interest as men and guys who are homosexuals or transgender as men, then what are we left with to define what it means to be a man?

When I learned that you were going to be a boy, my own insecurities about my masculine identity made me concerned about helping you discover the great person that you will become. I wasn’t sure that I really knew how to help you be a “man.” For some reasons silly things like the fact that I’m really bad at sports became concerns. I’ve come to realize that those things aren’t important.

You will find when you get older that it's the relationships that we have and the way that we view the world that defines us more than anything else.  For me its my relationship with people I love and the acceptance and optimism that I struggle to view the world with that have shown me what it truly means to be a man.

Always be proud of who you are, the things that you love and the life that you lead.  Define your manhood not by pushing things away, but by embracing the best things inside of you. 

Being a man is not about not being girly, or not being gay.  Being a man is being yourself.  

Gettin' Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith

“That’s not really rap music. It doesn’t have any swearing.”

-8th grade student

My students seem to have the most misconceptions about the music they like the best. One of those genres that many of my students talk about with some authority is rap music. When I teach about rap music I usually open up the conversation to get some ideas about what kids think about rap music. Some common misconceptions they tell me are that rap artists are only men, all rap music is about being a" gangsta" and that all rap needs utlizes explicit language.

I dispute all of these things and use The Beastie Boys to teach about rap (which I talk about in this post ). The thing that astounded me this year was that some of my students argued that The Beastie Boys were not actually performing rap music. I patiently explained to them the The Beastie Boys were in fact one of the most important and influential rap groups of all time, though I’m not sure they believed me.

I wonder what they would say if I told them about how Will Smith used to be the Fresh Prince and how he still rocks the mic with mad skills (while keeping it clean).


When teaching about rap music, I often consider using some of Will Smith’s works, but the problem is that he work is too complex. Unlike “Intergalactic,” Smith places his rhymes of different beats, changes rhymes schemes quickly and adjusts phrase lengths within verses. One great example of this is with his 1998 smash “Gettin' Jiggy wit It.”


He immediately his the first verse with a clever phrase with rhymes almost every other word.: “Let’s go, dance floor pro, I know, you know, I go psy-cho.” He throws the accents on the off beat and come out of this pattern as easily as he get into.

The beginning of the second stanza is just a slick:

Everybody lookin' at me,
Glancin' the kid,
wishin' they was dancin' a jig
Here with this handsome kid

Instead of creating pauses when he hits a rhyme, he goes straight into the next line rapping between the phrases as opposed to simply landing on them. When you analyze the different ways he places rhymes on beats, it’s dizzying.

 It’s amazing how well Will Smith performs. He’s moving around the stage with so much energy and personality. Smith is a rapper that makes what he does seem so easy, but when you try to do it just like him, you might fall trying to do what he did.

I grew up watching Will Smith on television and listening to him as a rap artist. I respect his success as a film actor, but I can’t wait for him to pick up the mic and return as rap’s most important royalty.

Blame It On The Rain by Milli Vanilli

At first the story of Milli Vanilli was one of triumph. Then it became one of scandal and finally it ended in tragedy. When Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus signed on to be the faces of the pop group Milli Vanilli, they had no idea how it would change their lives.

Producer Frank Farian, after recording an pop album, felt that he needed a more marketable duo so he hired Fab and Rob. The album Girl You Know It’s True went on to be a Grammy winning success.

Then during a live performance, the track they were lip-syncing to started to skip and the truth about the record came out. Then the scandal erupted and they had to give their Grammy’s back. After being butt of jokes for years and finally being able to tell their side of the story on VH1’s Behind The Music, Milli Vanilli began work on an new album that would feature their own voice. Sadly on Arpil 2, 1998, Rob Pilatus was found dead in a hotel. His death was ruled and accidental drug and alcohol overdose.

When I think about Milli Vanilli, it always makes me sad. People overreacted. Look, I know they lied and they mislead the public, but we’re talking lip-syncing. It would be one thing it they performed on stage as classical musicians. These are pop musicians who are dancing around in a way that makes it nigh impossible for them to sing well without at least a backing track.

Getting offended or surprised by a pop singer lip-syncing, is like getting angry about the fact the McDonalds is selling you previously frozen food. Yes, Milli Vanilli took it one step further by not even singing on the original recording but in the world of music scandals (which includes murder, shootings and extortion), this is a pretty minor offense.

The lead single “Girl You Know It’s True,” is really silly and campy. It’s dated, the rap is contrived and is pretty forgettable, but the other single from their album “Blame It On The Rain” really has heart.



I came across this video of Fab performing this song live and it was really touching. After everything Fab has been through, he’s making it happen on stage. These guys were put through such a ridiculous media storm and all they were doing was trying to entertain people.

There’s really not a more perfect song than “Blame It On The Rain,” to reflect about the legacy of Milli Vanilli. Sometimes focusing on who’s to blame isn’t the important thing. Did Fab and Rob deserve to be punished for what they did? I’m not sure, but they did get punished. I’m not saying that we should take blame for Rob’s death, but our reaction couldn’t have helped.

The reason we look for blame is to provide us a way to move forward. Sometimes we can do this without beating ourselves up or punishing someone else. No, that’s not a cop-out, sometimes it’s the best thing to do, because mistakes lie with the people who make them whether or not we can see that clearly.

To Be A Man: Women

A man walking along a beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".

The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. How can I make a woman truly happy?"

After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes did you want on that bridge?"

Everyone from psychologist to comedians have tried to explain to men how to best understand and interact with women. The differences between the genders influenced almost every facet of our modern society, from the way our shirts are buttoned to the amount people get paid to do a job. Every woman is different and for every generalization about women like how they aren't solution-based when they share their feelings, there are exceptions. The reality of the fact is that not all women are really from Venus.

Regardless of the diversity within the world of women, there are a couple things that guys should consider to understand what it means to be a man when interacting with the opposite sex.

Acknowledge what you don't and can't understand:  There are many life experiences that guys can never truly understand like breast-feeding, experiencing a menstrual cycle and giving birth. Then there are the things that most guys will never get, because most guys will never wear high heels, get a part of their body waxed or wear a bra.

It's not important that you have deep conversations about the unique experiences related to being a woman, but you need to be aware of what you don't understand and inform yourself from a women's experience, not from your own conclusions.

Be direct and honest: If you aren't sure what a woman is asking of you, speak up. If a girl asks you if you like something, be honest. This isn't a license to be rude or even bluntly honest.  You have to be truthful with women if you want to stand a chance to have a positive relationship with one. If she asks you for a commitment that you can't fulfill, do not commit to it. If this leads to a fight and even a break-up, its better that it happens sooner.

A man doesn't make up a reason to break-up with a girl. He is honest about his feelings and takes the hard road of honesty and not the easy way out through self-degradation or avoidance.

Give up on trying to "figure out" women: Sometimes when I hear men talk about women, it's like these guys are talking about a different species or some kind of puzzle. Don't forget, women are people and the best way to understanding a woman is to simply sit down, open up a conversation and listen, really listen. If you set out to figure out women you will fail, however if you try to get to know a woman as a person and a friend you will "figure out" more than you can imagine.

Women continue to struggle to have control over their own lives, find support from both men and women for the choices they make and resolve conflicting expectations from older generations. The biggest difference between men and guys, is that men acknowledge and respect the unique challenges that woman face, while guys brush off these issues as insignificant.

It is not our job as men to solves these problems for women but we need to do our best to understand these struggles and support women as they deal with these issues.

So will the real men step up?

And since we all came from a woman,
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women

                                                            -Tupac Shakur

Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel

“Mrs. Robinson” isn’t really about Mrs. Robinson.

The Graduate is one of the greatest films of all time. This film about a recent college graduate’s struggle to figure out his life reflects a shared experience and feeling that twenty-something's across generations experience.

Then of course there is Mrs. Robinson who seduces, the recent college graduate, Benjamin while he is going out with her daughter. The whole cross-generational affair is enough to cause controversy and interest in viewers, but it’s really not the point of the film. The point is . . . well. . . it’s complex and multilayered and you’re just going to have to watch it to figure it out for yourself.

Mike Nichols’ the director of The Graduate became obsessed with Simon & Garfunkel, and asked for three songs to be written for this film. Paul Simon came up with the shell of one about Mrs. Roosevelt, Joe DiMaggio and times past. After some lyric changes, a stripped down version without verse appeared in the film.

Later Simon & Garfunkel completed this song and released it on their 1968 album, Bookends. Along with “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” (which I discussed in this earlier post), “Mrs. Robinson” became one of Simon & Garfunkel’s signature songs and one of the most popular songs of the decade.



Now when I said that this song isn’t about Mrs. Robinson, it’s because, she’s really not a respected or heroic figure in the film. The lyrics of this song really don’t hold the depth that later Paul Simon songs do. He admitted that the Joe DiMaggio reference had more to do with syllables then meaning and also there’s the fact that it was originally Mrs. Roosevelt that he was singing about.

What we are left is really about gratitude, trying to convince someone how important and meaningful they are to the people around them. It’s a beautiful sentiment and every time the chorus rises, you feel a sense of warmth and love.

If you take this song as being separate from the film, it takes on a whole other level of meaning. It’s not about the loss and confusion of The Graduate, rather it’s a reassuring anthem to a person who doesn’t realize how special she is to the people in her life.

Watch The Graduate and sing along with “Mrs. Robinson.” Try not to get them mixed up with each other. Sometimes we find meaning when we put things together but other times we find even more meaning when we look at things separately.