Parenthood: Week 328 - The New Lion King With Ollie

I understand that it can disturb other people in the movie theater, but I couldn’t help but smile that Ollie wanted to dance in his chair and sing along to every song while we watched The Lion King yesterday. We did tell him to stop, and save the singing for home, but he was so excited that he couldn't help but sing along. This is what The Lion King film was all about for me.

My wife and I took our two children to see The Lion King yesterday. Ollie is 6 and he was super excited, and Ethan is 1 and slept through most of it. This remake of The Lion King is a big deal. Disney has been making live action remakes of many of their classic movies. Some people are vehemently against these remakes. They feel that this is a soul-less cash grab and that none of these movies compare to the quality of the originals. Others love these remakes as a way to recapture their childhood and reintroduce these films to a whole new generation. I’m pretty “meh,” about the concept. Some of these remakes like Beauty and the Beast are okay but do not interest me. I really enjoyed and respected the anti-racist remake of Aladdin. Oh and The Jungle Book is one of the best Disney film I’ve ever seen. Easily in the top ten.

I got really excited about the new Lion King when I saw the cast list. Then I saw the trailer and got more excited.  About the same time I started listening to the soundtrack, Ollie and I watched The Jungle Book, and we got both got really hyped up about this film. Ollie had seen the original Lion King film and had listened to the soundtrack quite a bit, and it was fascinating to listen to the new version and have Ollie explain to me the differences.

The world is different through the eyes of a child. Whereas I would walk through a park without looking closely at the ground, Ollie sometimes stops to look at a stick or a rock, and is happy to examine it for five minutes. When I watch movies with Ollie there’s a similar thing going on. He sees thing that I don’t. Sitting next to him in the theater, I’m keenly aware that I’m watching this movie with him. I’m sitting here watching the film for my own pleasure but also watching for moments or events that Ollie will want to discuss later. Ollie’s emotional reactions are very much on my mind. There’s been times when he’s been scared during movies and I absolutely love hearing him laugh out loud at jokes coming from the screen.

When I think about the quality of The Lion King, it’s hard for me to think about it on its own terms without thinking of Ollie’s reaction. Close-ups of animals talking and singing looked a little weird and it didn’t have quite the same emotional punch as the original. It would have been more interesting if they took more chance and changed it more. However, it was a beautiful movie and there was magic on that screen in many ways and for my son, it wasn’t CGI, it was simply magic. In my mind, that makes this film a success.

Disney is a big corporation. They want to make money, and remaking old properties are way to do it. However, they are doing this in a way that is more diverse, and inclusive, and bringing join to my family.

I was just like Ollie listening to Disney film soundtracks on repeat, dancing and singing along. Disney is not all-good, but there’s a lot of good they crate. Just like new Lion King. The good far outweighs the bad, and if you let yourself enjoy it, and go with a little one, you may not love the movie, but you will probably love the experience of watching it with a child.

Parenthood: Week 277 - Mister Rogers' Place In My Neighborhood

Mister Rogers is one the most important influences in my life. More than any sports star, politician, war hero, or even musician, Mister Rogers helped me understand my life, my goals, and my life’s work, and my purpose.

As a child, I watched his televisions show, as a young adult I read his books, and last Friday me and Diana watched Won’t You Be My Neighbor a beautiful documentary about this our favorite neighbor.


This film dives deep into the life of Fred Rogers, his work. It provides insights into the man behind the television show. It adds dimension to this man, through revealing his frustrations, and his self-doubt. These “flaws,” don’t actually make him less admirable, rather they make him more relatable and more real.

People had a hard time, and probably still have a hard time accepting that a man could dedicate his life to children, and truly be kind. Some assumed that Rogers was homosexual or had some dark past, but neither was true (in my mind being gay wouldn’t have made him less than, but for many it would have). Rogers showed that a man could be nurturing, caring, insightful, thoughtful, and enjoy chit-chatting. By being himself, he gained the respect of the most important people in the world, our children. This is a model that has given me the strength be dedicate my life to work with children, be proud about being a father, and work to be the kind of man Rogers was, as opposed to the emotionally cut-off “tough guy” so many of his generation worked towards.

Mister Rogers is one of the greatest examples of a Christian in my life. He never mentioned God on his show or preached the Bible. His acceptance of you, his love for you wasn’t conditional on your faith tradition. He focused on spreading the themes of love, giving and kindness, which he felt were central to his Christian faith. Rogers probably wasn’t very successful at converting people to Christianity. But he was incredibly successful at was spreading the most important themes of his religion, and make our world a better place through giving, inclusion and love. By focusing on these themes and not using the word of God, or the stories of Jesus, he was able to be as universal as the message he shared.

Rogers made parenting radically simple. Listen to your children, validate their feelings, and let them know they are loved and can create love by simply being themselves. These ideas are still radical to many, and are difficult to practice. During time-sensitive transitions, it’s hard to find time to listen. In the middle of feelings of frustration when a child is screaming at you, it’s difficult to find the true emotion amongst the heat. Saying the words “I love you,” is just a start. Showing love in a way that children understand, and nurturing their own belief in the power of their own love is a lifelong work of a parent that doesn’t ever end.

One of the questions that this film tries to address is what would Rogers being doing if he was alive right now? I think he’d still be at it, listening to one child at time, taking the time to talk about feelings reminding us that we are special just by being ourselves. But he’s not around any more, so I’ll do the best I can to continue his work. It’s not a job that will ever be done, but working with children, and being a parent is the most important work I can do.  It's the most important work we can do. 

Sitting with my son today watching Mister Rogers explain what it meant to be brave, I was once again reminded how much I have to learn, and how beautiful this journey of growth could be with with neighbor like Mister Rogers to hold my hand. 

Parenthood: Week 159 - Going To The Movies

Ollie went to the movie theater for the first time to watch Finding Dory. We had tried to watch Finding Nemo with Ollie a couple months ago, but he really wasn’t interested. Then he watched this film at school with his class and he came home very excited about the film. His favorite character was the stingray, Mr. Ray. It took us a couple days to decipher his singing as the song that Mr. Ray uses to teacher about the different zones in the ocean. We like to think that Ollie likes Mr. Ray because he’s a teacher just like mommy and daddy, but it’s probably because of the way that he sings flies through the water.

The day before we went, we told Ollie that we were going to go see Finding Dory, which was going to be like Finding Nemo. We explained to Ollie that we were going to go “tomorrow.” Ollie then spent the remainder of the day trying to figure what “tomorrow” meant. An hour would pass and he would ask if it was tomorrow yet. Eventually he understood that tomorrow was going to be when he woke up the following morning. This worked out fine until the next morning when we had to explain that we were going to go to the movie in a couple hours, which initially didn’t make sense to Ollie.

We talked about how the movie theater was going to be dark, which in Ollie’s head meant that it was nighttime.  We explained what Ollie could do if he felt scared and that if he need to go to the bathroom or wanted to leave early, he could ask us at any time. We also went over how he needed to be quiet during the movie.

Ollie did really well in the movie theater. He got annoyed and impatient with the half an hour of movie trailers before the film (which annoyed us as well). For the first part of the film, Ollie stayed in his own seat and then later switched to Diana’s lap. Finding Dory wasn’t a bad film for Ollie to watch, but it wasn’t perfect. It was a little bit too long and a little bit too dark. For the last half hour, Ollie repeatedly told us that he would rather watch Finding Nemo.

There are more reasons not to go to a movie theater than to simply stay home and watch a movie in our family room, especially with a toddler. Movie theaters are expensive. It’s better to watch movies in smaller chunks for Ollie (and us).  And we really should preview films before watching them with Ollie, which is both time-consuming and costly.

However it’s undeniable that there is magic in a movie theater and I saw that in Ollie’s eyes looking up at the screen with wonder as the film took us through the ocean. I loved going to the theater as a kid and I look forward to sharing more movie-going experiences with my son.

A couple tips for the toddler film experiences:
- Bring snacks and/or buy popcorn.
- Grab a cardboard drink tray to use as a plate
- Skip the movie trailers if possible.
- Go during a matinee time.  Less movie goers to disturb and it's cheaper.
- Talk over the experience and the film beforehand.
- Be prepared to help your kid unpack the experience and the film afterwards.  Conversations about the movie theater (that may seem repetitive) are important in the processing the experience.

Rey

Parenthood: Week 109 – Inside Out

I know that Ollie will not have any memories of the first two years of his life, but when I saw Joy, holding a little orb of a memory from Riley’s toddlerhood, I broke down crying for the like the 100th time while watching Inside Out.

Inside Out didn’t make me love Ollie more but it made me feel that love more acutely. Since watching this film last week, I’ve put more effort into our time together. Watching each memory form into a little globe and be placed into long term-storage, disappear or become a core memory was an important reminder of the impact that I have on Ollie’s memories, personality and his life.

Pixar is no stranger to making films about parenthood. The Toy Story trilogy is told in the context of big family changes (some theorize a divorce). Then there’s Finding Nemo, which is about every parent’s ultimate nightmare of loosing a spouse and unborn children and becoming the sole caretaker. And Up is about Carl taking on the role of Russell’s absent father, which is made all of the more poignant with the knowledge that Carl and his late wife desired children but were unable to have children of their own.

Since becoming a father I actually haven’t watched any of these films, because I’m not really sure how I can handle dealing with these topics now that I have a son of my own. So when I watched Inside Out, I wasn’t sure how this film would affect me. And as I expected I was a mess crying through most of this film.

Inside Out nails the emotional development of children through adolescence perfectly. From the newborn that only has Joy and Sadness in her head, through the emotional shutdown later in the film and finally the emotional complexity at the end, we see the emotional journey of the human experience. It’s a beautiful and sometimes very difficult path, but this film helps us through it with humor and grace.

What got to me the most was that, this film showed that every moment as a parent matters and that you never know what moments is going to become a core memory and what is going to be easily and quickly forgotten. It’s also a reminder to us as parents and teachers that all kids even seemingly happy and well-adjusted children struggle with their emotions. These moments aren’t something to dread, but something to embrace as they lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful connections with other people.

Probably the saddest part of the film for me was when Goofball Island collapsed into the abyss. One the things I love about Ollie is his goofiness. I feel like I was goofy when I was really young but I lost it in adolescence and it wasn’t until college that this part of me came back. When I see Ollie being a goofball, it’s the greatest thing ever and imagining him loosing that, was almost too much to bear. I came home determined to get as many core memories into his Goofball Island. But I know that it doesn’t work that way and I know that at some point things may fall apart.  What Inside Out reminds us though is what we end up with is something even better. In Riley’s mother we see that sadness evolves into compassion and is a leader.

Ollie may loose some of his goofball-ness at some point, but I need to remind myself that it'll be okay and like Riley's dad and with myself, that goofiness has a way of coming back.

I love art that expresses what its about like a song that is about how much fun it is to dance to music that is really fun to dance to.  Inside Out is a film that is about understanding that the most powerful and meaningful emotions in our lives are not simply happy or sad.  Every time the film hit me hard and I cried, it was swirl of emotions and memories, something indescribable and beautiful.

Go see Inside Out y'all.  If you have kids, make sure to schedule some quality time with them after you watch the film.  You are going to want to visit Goofball Island with them.  

Bill Cosby: Rape, The Court of Public Opinion and How Dr. Huxtable Let My Father Down

My dad just put his head down in silence.

He had nothing to say about Bill Cosby.

My dad has an opinion about most current events and I really like this about him. He has the ability to synthesize things that are happening in the world and make connections to personal experiences. So when I brought up Bill Cosby last winter, I expected for him to have something to say about him. Instead, he seemed really sad, almost hurt and it was clear that didn’t really want to talk about the accusations.

When my parents came to America in the late 1970s it wasn’t history books that helped my parents what it meant to be American, it was comedians. For my mom, it was Lucile Ball in reruns of I Love Lucy, that helped her understand feminism, the possibility of power dynamics in a marriage and what it meant to face the challenges of being an immigrant in America. For my father, it was Bill Cosby. Through his stand-up routines and television shows showed my dad what it meant to be an American dad.

Great comedians aren’t just people who make jokes. They are sociologist, historians, psychologist and journalists. They reflect thoughts we are afraid to acknowledge and provide important insights. Only through laughter can comedians help us acknowledge the failings of our society with optimism and hope.

Growing up, I remember my dad talking about the superiority of Bill Cosby. To my dad he was better than Richard Pryor because he didn’t use swear words. My dad used Bill Cosby sayings around the house like jokingly calling my brother and I “brain-damaged.” I have fond memories of watching Cosby’s films, stand-up specials and televisions shows with my dad. We even watched the horrendous Leonard Part 6 together and I’ll never forget how much my dad laughing at this classic scene:



It’s because of my dad that every week, I’ve search for updates on Bill Cosby. I feel that I need something, some kind of explanation to help me understand what was really going on. This last week we got sworn testimony that Cosby got drugs with the intention of giving them to woman to rape them.

Cosby defenders hang on to the “innocent until proven guilty” line in the face of this testimony. While I agree that this idea is the cornerstone of our justice system, it needs to be acknowledged that we regularly fail at this idea. Thousands of people in America are serving prison terms, many of them minorities because they were judged guilty without given a chance to prove their innocence. To hold onto this idea for Cosby, without the acknowledgement of how this idea fails so many is naïve.

There is also this idea that the court of public opinion is invalid. Public opinion has continued to shape the way that we interpret law and our constitution. Once upon a time, the courts upheld segregation as constitutional. When it was overturned the court of a public opinion had a significant role in the reinterpretation of this precedent.

Is it wrong that we have a legal system that so often puts innocent people in jail? Yes. Is it wrong that a person can have their reputation ruined simply by court of public opinion? Yes.

However it is even more disturbing that many people’s reactions to rape accusations are blind skepticism “Why didn’t you report this earlier?”

It is counterproductive that we spend more time educating girl how not to get sexually assaulted rather than teach boys not to rape by teaching the nature and dynamics of consent.

It is shameful that if you can run fast enough, and throw a football accurately enough you can rape someone with no consequences.

If you believe that Bill Cosby is guilty then his downfall should be an important reminder to you that must be respectful and always get consent when having sexual relations with another person. Marital rape does exist and a person who consents before a sexual activity can take away this consent during sexual activity.

If you believe that Bill Cosby is innocent let this be a reminder to never put yourself in a situation that could be misconstrued as sexual assault. If you aren’t careful and accusations come up, the court of public opinion will not be kind.

The reason the court of public opinion has such a vicious reaction to rape accusations is because of how much we are failing to address this issue in America. If we knew that rape accusations were taken seriously and just punishments were handed out, then we wouldn’t see this reaction. If it disturbs you that Cosby is being judge so harshly, then do something about it and donate money to one of the many organizations that are bringing awareness to issues surrounding sexual assault.

Rape isn’t like property damage. For many, this damage can never be fixed. This action has the potential to steal from a person one of the most meaningful, spiritual and for some people religious ways that they connect with themselves and other people for the rest of their lives.

We believe, maybe wrongfully so, in public figures. This belief helps us believe in ourselves, and to have that shattered, takes away little part of that belief in humanity that we struggle to hang onto through the years.

I’ll never forgive Cosby for taking a piece of that away from my dad.

I don’t have any faith in Bill Cosby. He’s not going to come out with the truth, and he’s not going to atone for any of his sins. But I do have faith that one day he will move on from this life and face judgment far more righteous than any of us can comprehend.

I’m doing my best to not let Cosby’s actions affect the memories of enjoying his humor with my dad. But it’s hard and part of me wishes like Dr. Huxtable taking the final dollars out of Theo’s hands, that these tarnished memories could simply disappear.

I Don’t Wanna Fight by Tina Turner

What is a normal amount of fighting in a relationship? Is a screaming match healthy if it happens once a month or once a week? Is it okay if the fighting goes beyond the verbal to the physical?

People have a wide variety of what they consider a “normal” amount of fighting. These expectations are usually set up from observing their parent’s relationship. In my view physical fitting is never okay and which most people agree with but at the I also think that it’s never okay to raise your voice to someone you love. Some families and yelling isn’t necessarily out of bounds, but its’ just not something that my wife and I feel is appropriate.

I’ve been thinking a lot about conflict in relationships lately.  Tina Tuner’s reflective and powerful call for understanding, “I Don’t Wanna Fight,” has helped me put some things in perspective.


“I Don’t Wanna Fight,” was part of the soundtrack to the biopic about Turner, What’s Love Got To Do With It. This film, one of the best films about a musician, shows Turner’s rise to stardom but also the abusive relationship she endured with Ike Turner and how she broke free and reinvented herself.



There are so many remarkable things about Tina Turner and the message of “I Don’t Wanna Fight,” showcases the most amazing part of her story. Turner has every right to be better, hateful and angry not only at Ike for the troubles in her life but also God and the cosmos for putting her through what she endured. Her response instead is that “it’s time for letting go.”

When someone has wronged you, they can apologize and you can be mad at them. You can fight it out and scream at each other but after all the dust is settled, it’s your responsibility to let go of the past, the hurt emotions, the bitterness and move on with your life. If you don’t the anger will fester in your soul and continue to make you unhappy. The only person who can do anything about that is you.

Letting go is one of the hardest things to learn how to do in life, but it’s one of the most important.

Fighting and winning is overrated. When you best someone you love in a fight, you may win and that’s great but it’s at the price of someone you care about loosing. If you enjoy conflict and have a winning spirit, that’s great, go play basketball, however keep this out of your relationship. Even when you win against your partner you lose.

If fighting helps you and your partner be more open and honest with each other, great, than have it out. Here’s the thing though, for most of us, fighting an is unproductive expression of insecurities, hurt and misunderstanding. No one really wants to fight. So stop it.

Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway) by Billy Joel

At the crossroads of science fiction and rock music you have the good:



 . . . the bad:



Yes, I am categorizing this song as “bad.” You want to make something out it?

Then there’s the um. . .



Science fiction and rock has melded into some amazing musical creations and some  painful musical atrocities. Rock music like science fiction often works as a commentary on society reflecting the future of as a way to examine the present. So while throughout rock music there have been some misguided attempts at melding these two genres, there have been some really amazing ones like "Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)."



After spending time in Los Angeles and becoming disillusioned by the music scene and the culture there, Billy Joel returned to New York. He marked this by the release of his album Turnstiles. This album featured songs reflecting this move like “Say Goodbye To Hollywood,” and odes to his hometown like “New York State Of Mind.” This album ended with “Miami 2017,” which portrayed a despotic post-apocalyptic New York, where people had fled to Miami for refuge.

Joel wasn’t that far off. The New York of 1976 was not the Disney Store-Giuliani cleaned up time square that we know now. It was the Taxi Driver, crime-ridden and about to default city that many viewed as a hopeless center of sin.

Loving a city that many disregarded as falling apart, Joel responded with “Miami 2017” singing about watching the city burning down, but continuing to play a concert regardless of the destruction. This was a song about how that even in the apocalypse of iconic buildings and the sinking of Manhattan itself, the spirit of the city lived on through a concert that would not stop.

When the attacks on the World Trade Center buildings on 9/11 occurred, people became cautious to show images of these buildings and the destruction of New York. Instead of going along with this, Billy Joel proudly performed “Miami 2017,” at The Concert For New York.



While his words seemed less prophetic and more like a reflection of actual events, when he sang “we went right on with show,” it meant something to the city and the rest of the country.
instead of mourning the fact that Joel and all of New York witnessed 9/11, the song reminded all of that we are survivors and to take pride in living through this experience.

Through the clouds of dust there’s the music and the spirit that no destruction could silence.

She's Having A Baby - Film Review

When people think about films about having a baby, titles like Father Of The Bride Part II and Nine Months come up. These film take a humorous look at pregnancy and having a baby. Unfortunately these films, like many others, steer away from representing the difficult realities of these experiences and fail to deal with the more challenging and complex emotional issues relating to having a baby.

One film that is not as well known but always shows up in lists of films that have to do with childbirth is John Hughes’ She’s Having A Baby. Like Hughes’ other works, this film is based in Chicago, touches on the challenges of growing up and has some powerful honest insights into life and relationships.



This films stars Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern as a couple that falls in love, gets married, buys a house and has a baby. There’s nothing really extraordinary about the plot but the way that its told is unique.

All of this film is through the perspective of Kevin Bacon’s character Jake. There are cut-scenes and altered reality as Jake deals with adulthood. He doubts whether he should get married, he’s unsure about settling in the suburbs, the job he takes seems like its crushing his spirits and his relationship with his wife doesn’t seem very loving.

Jake wanders through life, not fitting in; trying hard to reconcile his doubts with the responsibilities he’s taken on as an “adult.” Then his wife Kristy gets pregnant in the last third of the film. The relationships between Kristy and Jake seem to get better leading up to the childbirth scene.

Hughes can’t resist making one more childbirth cliché as Jake drives off to the hospital leaving Kristy behind but once they get to the hospital, the film takes on a very different tone.

Things don’t go as planned as is often the case with labor, and Jake is stuck out in the waiting room as Kristy has an emergency caesarean section. As Jake sits in the waiting room, his life with Kristy flashes in his memory. We see scenes from earlier in the film but instead of them fighting, we seen them laughing and enjoying each other’s company.



Kate Bush wrote and performed “This Woman’s Work,” for this scene. This song is full of hope and belief. It’s a song that honors the strength of women and captures the complexity of the emotions in this scene.

She’s Having A Baby is a flawed film and what it’s trying to say is more powerful than how it says it.  Regardless, John Hughes is right.  Sometimes we don't see the happiness that's right in front of us and sometimes our dreams are out of perspective from the realities that fulfill our lives in ways that our dreams never could.

A lot of people have told me that having a baby will change the way I view my life.  Is having a baby really going to change my entire perspective?  I don't know.  But after watching She's Having A Baby, I'm looking forward to that change. 

Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel

“Mrs. Robinson” isn’t really about Mrs. Robinson.

The Graduate is one of the greatest films of all time. This film about a recent college graduate’s struggle to figure out his life reflects a shared experience and feeling that twenty-something's across generations experience.

Then of course there is Mrs. Robinson who seduces, the recent college graduate, Benjamin while he is going out with her daughter. The whole cross-generational affair is enough to cause controversy and interest in viewers, but it’s really not the point of the film. The point is . . . well. . . it’s complex and multilayered and you’re just going to have to watch it to figure it out for yourself.

Mike Nichols’ the director of The Graduate became obsessed with Simon & Garfunkel, and asked for three songs to be written for this film. Paul Simon came up with the shell of one about Mrs. Roosevelt, Joe DiMaggio and times past. After some lyric changes, a stripped down version without verse appeared in the film.

Later Simon & Garfunkel completed this song and released it on their 1968 album, Bookends. Along with “Bridge Over Troubled Waters” (which I discussed in this earlier post), “Mrs. Robinson” became one of Simon & Garfunkel’s signature songs and one of the most popular songs of the decade.



Now when I said that this song isn’t about Mrs. Robinson, it’s because, she’s really not a respected or heroic figure in the film. The lyrics of this song really don’t hold the depth that later Paul Simon songs do. He admitted that the Joe DiMaggio reference had more to do with syllables then meaning and also there’s the fact that it was originally Mrs. Roosevelt that he was singing about.

What we are left is really about gratitude, trying to convince someone how important and meaningful they are to the people around them. It’s a beautiful sentiment and every time the chorus rises, you feel a sense of warmth and love.

If you take this song as being separate from the film, it takes on a whole other level of meaning. It’s not about the loss and confusion of The Graduate, rather it’s a reassuring anthem to a person who doesn’t realize how special she is to the people in her life.

Watch The Graduate and sing along with “Mrs. Robinson.” Try not to get them mixed up with each other. Sometimes we find meaning when we put things together but other times we find even more meaning when we look at things separately.

On My Own by Samantha Barks (from Les Misérables)

“I’m on TEAM EPONINE!”

Like the Edward, Jacob and Bella debate, the Internet erupted in a similar Eponine, Cosette and Marius discussion with the release of the film version of Les Misérables (which I discussed in this earlier post).

Okay, actually there really wasn’t really much of that but I wish there was.

The story of Cosette, Eponine and Marius could be made into a musical or film by itself. Cosette was raised by Eponine’s corrupt parents. As children, Eponine was treated well as Cosette was basically treated like a slave. Cosette sing the heartbreaking “Castle On The Cloud,” song as she dreams of a better life.


Then things flip around dramatically. Cosette gets taken away by Jean Valjean and is raised in luxury while Eponine stays with her parents and is raised on the streets. While Cosette lives in wealth and comfort, Eponine is subject to helping her parents in a life of crime.

Eponine pines after her friend Marius, who then falls in love with Cosette and the once fascinating character becomes an infatuated lover without any true depth (and no interesting songs in the second half).  Eponine's story comes forth as one of the most powerful and tragic parts of the musical.

This turn occurs with the song “On My Own.”



So much talk around Les Misérables is focused on Anne Hathaways’s portrayal of Fatine and her performance of “I Dreamed A Dream,” and its well deserved, however Samantha Bark’s Eponine and virtuosic “On My Own,” is just as amazing and deserves as much fanfare.

Samantha Bark’s was discovered on the BBC talent show, I’d Do Anything in 2008. She went on to play Eponine in the London production of Les Misérables and played this part in the 2010, 25th Anniversary Concert of Les Misérables.



She did this part on Broadway and did the jump to the film which is a challenging thing to do as the different mediums require very different skills.

She’s the real deal.

“On My Own,” is a self-reflective and conflicted song full of hope and the harsh realities of life. The song opens with Eponine fantasizing about being with Marius. The world seems beautiful and magical as she lives in this fantasy and Bark’s eye light up as she sings the words, “on my own,” as only her solitude can bring her the joy of this fantasy.

She almost giggles with the lyrics “he has found me.” There’s a teenage-like glee in her voice, but also a dark maturity. In many ways she has been forced to grow up but there is still this girl inside of her.

Then reality sets in. In the middle of the songs, Eponine shakes off the fantasy and she tells herself the truth about Marius and her own life. She hold sback tears as she angrily beats herself down as she sings “talking to my self. . . ” but somehow she feels that there is still hope.

She is renewed with the words, “I love him,” but that is quickly dashed away.  The world that once seemed magical, is nothing special, “the river is just a river.” The song climaxes, not with hope, but with sadness of a spirit unfulfilled. By the end of the song the words “on my own,” are no longer a place to find happiness, but a curse, because only on her own can love Marius.

Barks does a remarkable job of hitting the variety of emotions in this song and taking the audience on a journey. We get a sense that her love for Marius is not some teenage infatuation but the representation of something more. Marius is Eponine's hope for a better life, a way out of her misery and for Cosette is something very different.

What Eponine ends up doing for Marius is heart-breaking. Barks’ portrays her Eponine's final moments in the film beautifully creating the most powerful death scene in the film (spoiler: everyone in Les Misérables dies).

Reconsider Samantha Barks.  She's a young, talented singer and actress who has an incredible potential.

Maybe it's not so much that I'm on TEAM EPONINE, but rather TEAM SAMANTHA!

Les Misérables As The Great Film Musical

One of the most important things that makes a performance by children enjoyable and engaging is their energy. You can forgive a bunch of third graders if they mess up a line here or there during a school play, but if they have good energy, the play can still work.

It is the same energy, that translates into the commitment and the dramatic determination that makes Les Misérables one the best film musicals of all time. There is much to criticize about this film. Broadway purist are frustrated that Hollywood starts took over the lead parts. The plot is sometimes confusing (and humorously implausible) for people coming to this film without knowing the original stage musical or the book. And while there are some incredible dramatic moments there are some singing performances that seem stiff (i.e. Russel Crowe and well. . . Russel Crowe).

Many of these criticism can be applied to some of the greatest film musicals of all time like West Side Story, The Sound of Music and My Fair Lady (at least Les Misérables didn't pull the "have an actor lip sing someone else's voice"). I'm not making these comparisons because I think musicals need to be given a pass or criticized on an easier scales than other films. I'm bringing up these older musicals to help reflect on the fact that the film version of a Broadway musical is a very different kind of film.

All of the great film musicals brought parts of the Broadway show to the screen that work on the silver screen and the parts that do not. The filmmakers attempt to balance the needs of the commercial audience with a desire to maintain musical integrity in a type of drama that has a very different grammar than film.

Les Misérables does a remarkable job of balancing all of these factors while doing things on screen that bring layers to the story that can't be done on the Broadway stage. There's the incredible sets that help tell the story, the innkeepers pick pocketing and the intimacy of the performances like Anne Hathaway's unforgettable performance of "I Dreamed A Dream."

No other medium but film could capture this performance in this way. Performing "I Dreamed A Dream" on stage is beautiful and powerful but there s a distance we have from the performer.



Lea Salonga is amazing, but try to imagine her performance this with an intense close-up on a large movie screen.  That's a very different artistic feat than what Hathaway attempts.  Throughout Hathaway's song, the camera frames her face reminiscent of Sinead O'Conner's video for "Nothing Compares 2 U." The previous scenes, the sets, the wardrobe and the make-up create the desperate plight and context for this song perfectly. Even before she starts "I Dreamed A Dream," we feel that we understand the tragedy but then the performance revels more emotional depth.

Everything you've heard about Hathaway's performance is true. It's raw, uncomfortably intimate and one of the greatest performances captured on film. Does the rest of the film hold up against it? No, there isn't another scene which is as powerful (except maybe for Samantha Bark's "On My Own") and many other scene get close. 



On future viewing of the Les Misérables, I will cringe as Hugh Jackman barely hits the notes for "Bring Him Home," and giggle as Javert once again does not realizes that he is meeting Jean Valjean.  Many great film have these kind of moments and almost all great film musicals do.  Those thing don't ruin this film because Les Misérable is a film that embraces what it is: a film version of Broadway show.

Many of the critics who have been criticizing this film seem to miss that point.  Instead of trying to be something that it's not, Les Misérables leans into the melodrama and embraces the spirit and grandeur that makes a film musical great. 

Dear Jessie by Madonna

In the 1980s, Madonna’s role in pop culture was clear. Like Lady Gaga she was a pop musician using provocative ideas and ways of expression to both entertain and shock audiences. In the 1990s, things changed as Madonna took on the challenging lead role in the film Evita and tried to redefine her role as a more mature musician.



This made it hard to know what to make of Madonna’s Super Bowl performance last weekend. Madonna has continued to tour but she’s not a mainstay on television the way she used to be and doesn’t fill up the tabloids like she once did. Our popular culture has moved on to people like Lady Gaga to give us that shock and awe fix.

Looking back on Madonna’s career, what really sticks out? The music. So much of what made Madonna controversial has simply become irrelevant in many people’s memories.  It’s amazing how people forgotten that “Like A Prayer,” the closing song of the show was promoted with a music video that featured burning crosses and Madonna kissing a statue of Saint that came alive. There are probably still some people who would take issue with this video but everyone else has moved on (I discussed this song and video in depth in this previous post).  Through all of this what has maintained her relevance is her wide variety of innovative and interesting songs.

The album that showed the most diversity and depth of Madonna’s musical ability was Like A Prayer. A solid album from start to finish, the album covered a wide variety of topics and interesting musical styles. It also features one of my favorite Madonna songs, the heart-warming ode to childhood, “Dear Jessie.”



The ode to childhood joins a group of songs in pop music that celebrate the innocence of childhood including “Forever Young,” by Bob Dylan and “Never Grow Old” by Taylor Swift. “Dear Jessie” was inspired by the daughter of one her producers, Patrick Leonard. He wrote this letter for his daughter and Madonna agreed to record it after meeting Jessie.

Some have compared this song to music the Beatles and this actually is a fitting description. Like many of the Beatles' greatest songs, it’s not about a subject that most pop singers focus on. The instrumentation is interesting and inventive and it features a fascinating meter change, a musical device the Beatles often utilized that most pop musicians stay far away from.

With fairy-tale like imagery, Madonna takes us on journey through the imagination of childhood. Hopeful and gentle, she points out to Jessie how amazing the world around them something many adults overlook and kids often revel in. Swirling strings, dynamics horns and a flurry of other instruments take us to a magical sonic world that pop music often doesn’t take us.

Is this song the definitive Madonna song? No, of course not. She is far too complicated an artists to relegate her expression to one song. But this is a song that defines one facet of the artist that Madonna was and the artists she continues to be.

Winter Break Films To Watch

Ok, it's Winter Break, which means I've watched a couple films and thankfully, they've all been fantastic.  This is what I've seen in the last couple days:

Jackass 3D



This is exactly what you expect it to be.  It's disgusting, over the top and gross on many different levels.  And no it wasn't the guy covered in poo that was the hardest thing to watch, it was super-gluing a hand to someone's chest and ripping it off that was the most disturbing.

Missions Impossible: Ghost Protocol



So what happens when you have Brad Bird, famous for directing Pixar films do an action film?  You get  a delightfully funny, but not too silly actions movie with ridiculous action and a plot makes just enough sense to seem interesting but not distract from the action.

Reel Injun



This is one of those "what it means to be American" films.  It talks about how the stereotypes of Native Americans developed throughout film history.  It reminded me of the Celluloid Closet, which does a a similar thing with homosexuality.  This is really powerful stuff that is important for all Americans to think about.

Page One: Inside The New York Times



This film is not so much about the Newspaper industry but the revolution in all of media we are experiencing.  All of the founders of current media sources are brought together in this documentary to discuss the changes in the way that we consumes media.  We've all heard a lot of these conversations but it's fascinating to see them put in one film and presented so well.


The Best Worst Movie 



This film takes a look at Troll 2, considered by some as the worst film ever made, which has become a cult phenomenon. Like many great documentaries this film is about the human experiences and how people deal with events in their lives.  It's amazing how such a great film was made about such a bad one.

Bella Swan: Feminist Role Model?: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1

After six years, the penultimate Twilight film has hit the theaters and I’m more into this series then ever. (My views on Twilight are based 100% on the films, as I haven’t read a word of the books).

In this earlier blog post I defended Twilight. I discussed how people being critical of Twilight without experiencing the art are silly, the double standard of female-centric art being viewed as inferior, and why we should all be sensitive to art that we don’t like that others love.

While I thought that this was enough after searching “why Twilight sucks,” and reading through about twenty websites with articles and list of complaints about Twilight I feel it necessary to once again defend Twilight. (btw Twilight Haters, you have to really step up your game, complaining about Twilight fans themselves has nothing to do with the book or the film).

The two most coherent complaints have to do with the character of Bella being a bad role model and being anti-feminist.

No, Bella is not a great role model, but is she suppose to be? No one complains the Hamlet, Juliet or Othello are bad role models. They are tragic heroes with a flaw and so is Bella, her flaw being her obsession with Edward. One of the more interesting and maybe more apt comparisons is the idea that Bella is not as good a role model as Buffy Summer, the vampire slayer.

While I agree whole-heartedly that Buffy is a far better character, she shares the same flaw as Bella with her quasi-abusive relationship with Spike. If you don’t believe ne all you have to do is watch episode 19, season 6, “Seeing Red.” Yes, Spike is totally at fault but, Buffy saw the signs and didn’t exactly distance herself from him the way she should have. . . not the greatest role model to girls in this situations, but that’s okay. That’s not what this is about.

Tragic heroes don’t serve us as role models but as reflections not of who we want to be but who we are. And if you don’t think that there are some teenage girls out there resembles Bella Swan at all, then you need to go hang out at a high school.

Stephanie Meyers defended Bella as feminist because she chooses her circumstances in life. Yes, Meyers is right. Feminism by its strictest definition is not the idea that all women should be working moms and go against traditional gender roles. It’s about equality of opportunity. If a woman chooses to be a businesswoman they should be able to do that without limitations put on by society and with social pressures to the contrary. Also if a woman chooses to be a housewife they should enjoy that same freedom to do that without discrimination. Equality isn’t about everyone doing the same thing but equal opportunities of choice.

Bella’s choice to be with Edward is her choice. Many of the things that Bella decides for herself go against Edward’s wishes and you may not like her choices like many people in the films do but she makes them anyways fighting for her right to self-determine her life. Isn’t that really what feminism is all about?  I'm not arguing that Bella is the paragon of feminism but to say she is anti-feministic because she makes choices you don't agree with well is kind of . . . anti-feminist.

By the way, I totally think Bella should have chosen Jacob, but the fact she chose Edward is far a more dramatic meditation on Bella’s heroic flaw.

I really enjoyed watching Breaking Dawn-Part 1. When you walk into a Twilight film you know you’re going to get some stiff lines, some fun actions, some more badly acted lines and some ridiculousness. Within all of this there is something highly entertaining and thoroughly engrossing.

One of my friends commented on facebook that I must be “one of the most open-minded male I know” for enjoying Breaking Dawn. While I do like to think I’m open-minded and I appreciate the compliment I don’t think understanding and enjoying Twilight is about being open-minded.  It’s about enjoying art for what it is, not complaining about it for what it’s not, putting aside expectations and to the guys out there it's about being a true feminist and not only watching but enjoying something that she wants to watch.

Madea Goes To Jail

Sorry, reverend, doctor, bishop, preacher lady, whatever your name is. I don't agree with all of this. I hear what you say about forgiveness. You're supposed to forgive. This child is telling what her daddy did. Your dad is somewhere living his life and you're on lockdown. You're in jail because of what you did. Learn how to take some responsibility for yourself. For your own stuff. I can't stand folks wanna be the victim. "This person did this so I'm this way." Everybody got a story.

Your mama and daddy gave you life. That's all they do. No matter how good, how bad the life was...it's up to you to make something of it. Suck it up and shut up.

Everybody got a life. What you do with that life is up to you. Stop being the victim. That's all I say.

                                     -Madea
                                             
I’ve always found the character of Madea entertaining whenever she’s featured on a trailer for one of Tyler Perry’s film. I have no idea why but the weird mispronunciations of words like “Hallelu-er” and her swagger seem like a lot of fun. So when I sat down to watch Madea Goes To Jail, I expected to see Madea go through some comic shenanigans but I got a whole lot more.




Madea Goes To Jail tells two stories. One of Madea getting in trouble with the law and ending up in jail and the other of a district attorney who is engaged with another attorney dealing with a childhood friend who is a prostitute. While these stories interweave together they stand in contrast throughout the film that makes an important statement not just about African-Americans but about all of us.

Tyler Perry both embraces stereotypes with the character of Madea but also presents African-Americans like the character of the district attorney as college educated, well-dressed and well-spoken professionals. And I understand why some people may not like Tyler Perry’s over-the-top portrayal of Madea, but it’s a caricature, almost like a cartoon. It’s so obliviously not suppose to be a real reflection of anyone. The other characters buck the trend of the way that many images in our culture portray African-Americans as rappers, gansta’s or professional sports players.

This film reveals the multiplicity within the African-American culture, which is often forgotten. The district attorney’s fiancée doesn’t understand his sympathy towards the prostitute because she feels like they’ve been given the same opportunities but the district attorney reminds her that she didn’t grow up in a poor neighborhood.  As the story unfolds the interconnections and the way that people deal with the choices in their lives are revealed in an unexpected and powerful way.

The plot-line with the district attorney is intense and only with the comic interjections of Madea’s plot line is the viewer able to process the more emotional plot-line. While the film is does not represent great technique in film making it reflects a deep desire to make a positive statement about what it means to take responsibility for your life.

There are no quick fixes in this film. It realistically portrays the struggles and the consequences the characters deal with.  You don’t seen many films really addressing the issues that Madea Goes To Jail touches upon in a way that both entertains and challenges the viewer.

I’m an Asian-American and probably like many people who are not African-American, I didn’t feel that Tyler Perry’s films were for me. And I’m sure that I’m missing things in the film and I don’t really understand everything that is going on.  However,  I really enjoyed watching the film and if you haven’t checked out one of Perry’s films, I highly recommend that you do.

Rob Humanick put it best in his review of another of Perry's film I Can Do Bad All By Myself:

"It isn't great art, but it's popular art worth believing in."

Why You Should Go See Bridesmaids . . .

Last Saturday afternoon Diana and I decided that we would visit the Garfield Park Arboretum. It was a gloomy day and we figured seeming some flowers and exotic plants would be a fun way to spend the afternoon.

However after a quick discussion and the fact that the Arboretum was a half an hour drive, my wife and I decided to run across the street to our local movie theater and watch Bridemaids.



While the trailer looked funny it was the fact that the reviews for this movie kept coming in really positive that convinced me to go. Three and a half stars from Roger Ebert isn’t something to scoff at and after watching the film I realize what the critics are so excited about.

Bridesmaids is raunchy. It features one scene in the first third of the film, which is a South Park scene come to life. There is liberal use of expletives and the subject of many of the conversations firmly earns the R rating. While it’s fun to see that woman can be just as gross as the guys. As great as these scenes are this is really not what the film is about.

This is a film about woman, but it’s not a chick flic.  It’s kind of a romantic comedy but it doesn’t have any of the clichés from that genre. Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo have written a script that subtlety articulates the way that woman interact with each other. Each conversation while laced with jokes speak to deeper feelings like when Annie played by Kristen Wiig freaks out at the Bridal Shower. On the surface it’s brilliant physical comedy but at the same time she is speaking to her own thoughts and insecurities adding a layer of depth and drama.

My favorite scene features Melissa McCarthy (the character in the trailer who burps), talking the Kristen Wiig. McCarthy plays this character as an vulgar more masculine counter-balance to the other  bridesmaids, but somehow in this quiet scene between her and Wiig she peels back that surface of the character showing a touching and powerful expression of friendship.

There are many scenes like this in the film reminding us how hard it is truly is to be a great comedic actor and how much heart this film has.  Bridesmaids a challenging film. It doesn’t go where you expect, it doesn’t resolve perfectly and it’s brave not only in it’s vulgarity, but where it goes emotionally.

Yeah, you come in expecting an all out raunch-fest and the film gives you a little of that but the other stuff, the rest of the film will really make you think about the woman in your life, the chinks in all of our armor and what it really means to be a friend.

Harry Potter And Somebody's Missing A Nose

I had a great time seeing Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows last weekend. It is without a doubt the best Harry Potter film out of the seven and the first since the first two that didn't feel rushed. Even without having read any of the books (I know I'll get on it), I could feel that things were left out in the other films but not in this one.

I love the slower pace and it really makes me wish they did each book as a full season television show. The atmosphere and the mood were great and I continue to be impressed with the actors especially the leads.  I also continue to be annoyed with the look of Voldemort. I know that he is suppose to have the look of a snake but sometimes things don't translate from the page from the screen.  Grandpre (the illustrator for the Harry Potter series) got it right with the angular face and big red eyes.   

Conan knows what I mean:



[note how all of this footage is from Part II!]

And to the girl a couple seats down from me who freaked out a end of the film "Oh My GOD!!! I can't believe I have to wait months to see what happens!!!" go buy the book or at least read the wiki summary . . . like I did.

Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers

There are many misunderstood lyrics in rock music. While some musicians are very deliberate at making sure that their lyrics are understood, rock singers often do not focus on annunciation as part of their craft resulting in misunderstood lyrics or simply words aren’t understood at all.
Most of the time, this doesn’t really bother me. I’m used to looking up Springsteen and Rolling Stones lyrics to make sense of the meaning in their songs. However there is one example, one instance in which a misunderstood lyric had a profound effect on my identity: “Secret Agent Man.”



When I was in elementary school my dad would often pick me up from school and he would always be listening to Oldies stations (which is one reason I love pop music the way I do). Now I don’t know if he was serious or joking when he told me that this particular song about a spy was named “Secret Asian Man.”

Now in my elementary school brain somehow it made sense. Could you really blame me? Look, there is no hint of an ending “t” syllable when Rivers sings the chorus, AT ALL. Asian people can do spy-like James Bond stuff too. So why not? This is a song about an Asian James Bond character who was “secret” as well as a “man,” hence “Secret Asian Man.”

This connected with one of the other culturally experiences I shared with my dad, watching James Bond movies. I loved watching these films with my father and whenever marathons were on the television, we were all over it. Now, James Bond was of course, never Asian, but a lot of bad guys were like that guy who through hat at people.



Connecting my childhood fantasies of being a James Bond-like spy with a song that told of an Asian James Bond cemented in my head that I, a little Asian boy, could in fact be a “Secret Asian Man.”

Unfortunately like many childhood illusions, I came to the realization that Johnny Rivers was not actually talking about an Asian spy but instead was cashing in one the 1960s spy craze by recording a song about a generic spy character.

Realizing that there was no song about an Asian spy shattered my dreams.

Johnny Rivers, you made me think that I could do something with my life, that I could be a “Secret Asian Man.” You convinced me that racial barriers could be crossed and that stereotypes could not limit my dreams. Then reality crushed the hopes of a little boy who realized that you actually didn’t believe that an Asian man could be on the Riviera one day and hide out in Bombay the next day. All you believed was that by catching on to a craze you could cash out. 

Well I hope you’re happy and that your “Secret Agent Man” money comforts you when think of all of the little Asian boys that you misled with your incoherent Southern Drawl.

The Cove & Why Through The Slaughter Of Dophins We Are Killing Ourselves

I love eating meat: beef, veal, lamb, chicken, fish, shellfish, duck, oh and of course pork! I have no reservations about having leather accessories or furs (except for the fact that it’s not really in fashion right now). I don’t really love animals all that much except for my dog and I don’t really think future generations will really mourn the loss of any species that become extinct in my lifetime. However I feel strongly that we desperately need to stop whaling.

Recently Animal Planet premiered the Academy Award Winning documentary The Cove. This film is about a filmmaker Louie Psihoyos’ journey in helping Ric O’Barry document the illegal slaughter of dolphin in Taiji, Japan.



The process of filming the slaughter has a secret ops feel which is exciting but what is really engaging is the story of Ric O’Barry. He takes responsibility for the popularity of bottle-nosed dolphins as the main trainer on the television show Flipper. After one of his whales dies in his arms, he decides to rectify what he has done and has spent the rest of his life trying to free whales. O’Barry is one of he most amazing inspiring examples of someone taking responsibility for their actions and trying to make the world a better place.

Animal Planet has been showing The Cove to lead in for their new show Blood Dolphins that continues to follow O’Barry’s battle in Taiji.



The argument of the intelligence and consciousness of dolphins didn’t effect me, what really got to me was how illogical and gratuitous were the actions of the fisherman. Dolphin meat has ridiculously high levels of mercury and the only way that it’s sold in Japan is if it’s mislabeled as whale meat, which isn’t even very popular in Japan anymore.

Look, I know that the chicken I ate for lunch was probably raised to be eaten and it’s death can only be considered “humane” by comparison to what we’ve done in the past, but we need to eat. Killing dolphins for meat is like collecting wild boar shooting them and trying to sell it as pork. The vast majority of the market would find the meat too gamy and anyways, there’s no need to kill those wild animals, we got plenty of farmed animals, why mess with the wild ones?

Yes, I think killing wild animals in general is crueler than killing farmed animals. Others of you may not make that distinction. What is important to consider is what we are doing to our souls when take life, any life.

If there’s a spider that you find on a table and you kill it when you could have just as slide it on to a piece of paper and let it go outside in the garden you are doing something to you soul and a little darkness creeps in. As a human race, we have so much darkness at the edges of our existence. Some of it is unavoidable but whatever is avoidable, we have to stop. We can’t afford any more blood on our hands.

Do the fisherman and Taiji have the right to fish off their shores and fish whatever they want to? Yes, but the rest of world has the right to draw attention to this atrocity make the Japanese government so embarrassed that they agree to stop their gratuitous cruelty.