Monday, January 11, 2010

Doubt

The first photo taken of Diana and me, Valentines day 2003

'Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
'O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;
I have not art to reckon my groans: but that
I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.
Hamlet Act 2. Scene II by William Shakespeare

This Winter marks the seventh year that Diana and I have been together (5 1/2 years of dating, 1 1/2 years of being married). Now I know plenty of people that have been together longer than I’ve been alive but I still think seven years is a big deal.

Have we had an especially difficult seven years? I would say no, we’ve had our share of struggles and challenges but nothing extreme. In our time together we’ve both had good health and have always maintained level of comfort in our lives.

I remember in our first year of dating wondering how I would feel about Diana over time. I would ask myself “Do I want to share my life with Diana?” And every time I’d think about it, my answer would be yes.

After a while, I stopped doubting the permanence of my feelings for Diana and thing that made my doubt in our relationship disappear was Diana herself.

Do I feel the same about Diana that I did when we first starting going out? Of course not. I really didn’t know Diana nearly as well as I do now. That magical spark that I felt when I first started to get to know her has diminished but it has been replaced with is a far more profound and meaningful feeling of connection, trust and love.

There were things that I didn’t know, that I wondered about in Diana’s character. Not that I was assuming bad things about her, I simply didn’t know how she dealt with the challenges of life. As we’ve shared our life together all of those thoughts, those doubts have disappeared and so have my doubts about our relationship.

Many people have asked me when I knew that our relationship was something special, was going to lead to marriage and when I felt ready to make that commitment to Diana. My honest answer is I don’t really when I knew or what it was that made me realize that Diana was going to be part of the rest of my life.

All I know is that last week when I was home by myself I decided to watch a DVD from my collection and every movie that I considered watching I wanted to watch with Diana. Every time someone tells me something interesting I want to tell Diana and every day I wake up, I look forward to the time I'm blessed to spend with my wife.

And after all this time, she STILL finds my jokes funny.

Diana and I, seven years later

1 comment:

  1. Congrats on the seven years. Once again, a nicely done piece.

    ReplyDelete