When I’m sick, I tell myself to try to remember what it’s like to feel sick, so I can better enjoy feeling healthy, something I often take for granted. Being healthy is a privilege most people don’t think about because it is a state of “neutral.” You feel sick when part of your body is bothering you, and you feel healthy when you don’t feel anything wrong. Unlike when you are sick, there is no symptom or constant reminds that you are in fact healthy.
The same goes for the way we externally view our children. I often feel that I take my children’s health for granted, but not always. When you enter the realm of being a parent, you find friends who have young children as well. As you see experiences of people around you, the struggles of other children and parents related to the health are more noticeable.
I have friends and family who have had miscarriages, and a family member who had a child during childbirth. People in my life have had children who have had to have significant gastro-intestinal issues, birth defects, born pre-mature, and had brain surgery. I’ll never forget going to the funeral of a one of Diana’s second cousins who died from complications related to significant disabilities as a teenager.
These challenges are part of the human condition and what it means to be a parent. As your heart grows when your child is born, your empathy for the parental struggles of others grows as well. Only the most hardened of parents, doesn't feel the ache deep in the heart as a parent struggles with the health of their own children.
Ethan is finally over having Roseola, a virus. It’s a relatively common and treatable virus. There were fevers that spiked and the rash that covered his whole body for a couple days which was one of the saddest things to see. Like when Ollie would get Croup, I wish that I could absorb the virus from Ethan and work through it for him. You hold your child when they are sick and you imagine that through love and sheer will you can heal them, but unfortunately sometimes all you can do is wait.
I knew that Ethan was going to be fine when he was going through the worst of Roseola, but I was still concerned. While it was a challenge dealing with his fussiness and sleeplessness, the one thing he wanted more than anything was to be cuddled.
Now that he is better, and he has found his “sorts,” and his smiles, I am so grateful that he is healthy. I’m trying to make a point to pause and just enjoy his health. At the same time, I want to keep the struggles of other parents in my heart and my mind. There is privilege in health, and perspective can be lost in moments when your primal instinct as a parent takes over.
Your child will get sick. It's not a question of "if," it's a question of "when." It's never easy, but in some it get easier. You learn to focus on positive thinking, and knowing that like all things in life, this sickness is finite. When your child is healthy how do honor the experiences of others who continue to struggle with the health of their children?
I'm not sure, but it's an important question that I will continue to contemplate as I hold my children close to me and remind myself of the parents hoping for a miracle so that their child can grow healthy and strong.
No comments:
Post a Comment