It’s a strange feeling when you are “cuddled out” by your baby.
Human contact is essential for physical and mental health. Babies that do not get enough nurturing contact, sometimes have health risks. Research has shown that cuddling stimulates human growth hormones, and signals to the digestive system to pull nutrients from food and not just let food pass through the a body.
For most the feeling of a welcomed hug, and even a hand shake can turn a bad mood to good. Words bring comfort and strength, but sometimes a pat on the back and can be more powerful in expressing a feeling of support.
Ethan is a cuddlier baby that his older brother Ollie. This isn’t a good or bad thing, it’s just a difference. Ollie had his clingy moments as a baby, however he wasn’t as reliant on actual physical contact to go to sleep and be smoothed back to sleep. Maybe it was because Ollie was more of a thumb sucker, or maybe it was because Ollie was swaddled. It could simply be because my two sons have different personalities.
At this stage, Ethan has difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep without someone near. He has his spans where he sleeps independently during the night, but during daytime naps, unless he feels a body next to him, or is held, he often doesn’t take very long naps. Instead of sucking his thumb, or playing with his own hair as Ollie did, Ethan grabs an article of clothing for comfort. With me sometimes it’s the color of my shirt, or my necklace. During the night, I wear tank tops, and he finds great comfort in the shoulder straps on my shirt.
Holding a sleeping baby and sleeping with a baby is not like anything else. It’s unique from sleeping with Buffy, my dog and isn’t the same as cuddling with my wife. It’s really magical the way they try to burrow into your body and completely relax into your body.
The other part that makes it unique is the fact that a little human cuddling up against you cannot negotiate their body, so they need help adjusting. They have no regard for your comfort. Even Buffy gets when I’m uncomfortable.
This can make sleeping with a baby tiresome. Babies can twist their bodies in ways that make them difficult to hold, and sometimes feet end up in your face as they sleep perpendicular to you. And that indescribably magic of sleeping with a little one can be lost. You get the point when you feel like that last thing you want in the world is someone else touching you, even your precious little one.
It makes me sad sometimes when I need a physical break from my baby when all he wants is to be held. The magic of calming a crying baby by simply holding them loses its novelty when this baby in your arms prevents you from getting stuff done around the house, or simply living life. I still remember the first time I picked up both of my boys. It was an amazing feeling, and now since I hold my baby every day, it has become routine.
I don’t think I should feel bad for needed space from my baby, but I also think it’s important that I take the time to remember and experience the magic of holding my child every day.
There are so many things in life, so many wonderful moments, a kiss, a hug, a smile, that we just move through life without appreciating, barely noticing. These things seem endless but like all things in life they are finite, which is exactly what makes them special. There’s a limited amount of times that Ethan will find comfort sleeping in my arms. From what I’ve experienced with Ollie, there’s no countdown. You don’t get a warning. One day, they just fall asleep on their own and would rather not cuddle. Ollie still cuddles with me. It's still special but it's different from when he was a baby.
So try to stop and smell the baby, and in those moments of frustration, try to enjoy those moments the best that you can. In your arms you are the world to your child, and if you allow yourself in that moment they can be your world too.
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