Every day, I clean up after my children.
One of the reasons that me and Diana have continued to have our children go to sleep a couple hours before we do is so that we have some time to ourselves and also have time to do chores. This can include laundry, doing dishes, and generally tidying up around the house. One chores that we do every single night is put away toys.
Ethan is one and a half so he doesn’t really understand the concept of cleaning up. He is starting to understand that things have a place. For example, today he brought me book to read to him from a bookshelf and after I was done reading he put that book back in the bookshelf. Okay, actually he threw the book in the general direction of the bookshelf and it landed on the floor. Right now, we model cleaning-up when he is transitioning between activities, and sometimes he “helps.”
Ollie is five years old and he is perfectly capable of putting his toys away. So why do we end up cleaning up his toys for him every night? Part of this is because I often fail to remind him to clean up one toy before getting another toy out to play with. Sometimes this piles up, and the choice is between having him spend a half hour cleaning up or get him to bed on time. More often than not I choose getting him to bed on time.
Cleaning up, especially when it’s a lot and it’s at the end of the day is not a situation that is conducive to creating that relaxing transition into bed time. I still feel you need to set standards for behavior all of the time, but if there’s a mess that could have better been handled through my management of Ollie’s play, it doesn’t add up in my mind to make a big fuss about it right before going to bed.
What is Ollie learning from waking up every day and seeing that his parents cleaned up the house, and his toys? Well, first that it was me and Diana who did the cleaning. At one point he asked why things were clean when he woke up, and we explained that it was because we cared about him. Cleaning up after your children is an expression of love and yes, so is making them clean up after themselves.
The more important thing is something I learned from my parents. They did the same thing when I grew up. I always woke to a clean house. I got used to it. I’m not a neat freak but a I prefer things to be organized. Knowing that my parents cleaned and seeing them clean taught is exactly why I clean. It’s about pride, it’s about setting standards, not taking your privilege for granted, and helping your children understand that you care.
Yes, Ollie needs to clean more, and it’s frustrating that he doesn’t and resist my request. However, even more than the feeling of exhaustion, I feel satisfied at night before going to bed knowing that because of me and Diana’s effort our boys will wake up with the feeling of a fresh start that can only come from a clean house.
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