Lucas has been with us a full week. Here are some thoughts…
First off, it feels like Lucas has been with us for a lot longer than a week. Lucas has been in our lives for the better part of a year. No, I couldn’t touch him, and I couldn’t hold him, but I held him in my mind and in my heart for months. This past week doesn’t feel like there is a new life in our lives, but the next step in life like a child going off to college.
Buffy was very interested in Lucas when we first brought him home. As we put the car seat down on the floor, she came up and smelled his head. She moved to the side to greet Diana, and then went back to check in on Lucas. Buffy has been great with Ethan and Ollie as babies. She was never aggressive or overbearing and still tolerates them in ways that I would not.
Ollie never tried to ride Buffy like a horse, however Ethan continues to give this a try every so often. Buffy is fast enough to outrun Ethan at this stage and get away. Instead, she usually just stands there and lets him grab at her torso and try to mount her. In a way she look sad when he does this but if this really bothers her, she would leave, and since she doesn’t, it shows that she is trying in her way to play with him.
I often get Ollie and Ethan’s name mixed up and the addition of Lucas has only made matters worse. I have called Lucas by the wrong name more times than I have called him by his correct name. Sigh, this is going to be a process.
Lucas is wonderful. He smells like happiness and he is wonderfully squishy. His face changes depending how his positioned because his cheeks are so chubby that gravity affects them. If he’s sitting up they drop downwards, which look slightly different than when he’s on his back. Lucas is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing. He nurses, cries, poos, sleeps, and wakes us up int the middle of the night. Every day his eyes open a little bit wider, and he reaches with his little hands out into the world a little farther.
Ollie is being a great older brother. He greets Lucas and he is interested in holding him, and giving him a bottle. Ollie doesn’t quite know what else to do with Lucas and that’s okay. Most of his life right now isn’t changed dramatically because of Lucas, which I feel is helping with the transition to being part of a larger family.
Ethan is fascinated by Lucas. When Ethan first met Lucas in the hospital he repeatedly pointed at Lucas and said, “baby.” When he went to school the next day he spent the entire day carrying around a baby doll, and telling people that it was a baby. Ethan loves to greet Lucas and likes to touch him. Ethan is a toddler who sometimes hits when he’s trying to touch, but he’s been wonderful with Lucas gently touching him on the head and chest.
I love seeing my parents with my children. They are wonderful with them, and it feels like seeing into a time portal. I imagine that this is how they were with me when I was younger, and it’s a powerful and endearing thing to think about. To see two people, fall so completely in love with Lucas immediately is powerful and amazing. Both of my parents spent long periods of time, almost as long as an hour, holding Lucas and simply looking at him. I don’t know what they were feeling and thinking in these moments, but I know it’s right, it’s beautiful, and it makes me proud to be their son.
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