Hard times come and hard time go, and one of the hardest times as a parent is when your kids are sick.
There’s a lot of moments and situations in which parents prove that they have “it.” Changing a poopy diaper with one wipe, nursing a kid in challenging situations, taking a baby on a plane, getting two kids ready for school in the morning (seriously this can take super-human efforts and abilities to accomplish) are all really difficult at times. The sick thing, ugh, is just the worst.
You know that it's inevitable. At some point, probably a couple times a year, your kids will get sick. Sometimes it’s minor, a stuffy nose, that is gross but doesn’t amount to anything serious or even a missed day at school. Or it can be life-threatening, an allergic reaction that triggers an asthma attack. Some of the treatments are candy-flavored medicine, but some of the treatments them can seem as traumatic as the sickness itself.
There are times when you are told to simply do nothing besides some over-the-counter drugs. It’s a virus the doctor says, which means that you have to let it work its course. Other times you get antibiotics, which feels slightly better than nothing because, there’s an action that is being taken that should show improvement pretty soon.
It’s hard to know when to call the doctor. You don’t want to feel like you are overreacting, and being that parent, but at the same time, you don’t to have things spiral out of control. You search on the internet for some guidance, deal with that new forehead thermometer, which is more comfortable for the child, but gives an annoying wide-variety of results. You have to make decisions. Sometimes you are alone in these moments of crisis, but other times your partner is there, and the dynamics of your relationship, the true feelings you have for each other are revealed.
If you are parents as true partners you will lean into the one who is most worried and do what makes them feel best, not because it’s logical, but because it’s not worth being right if someone feels gaslighted. When you have a sick kid, it’s not about which parent is right or wrong. There’s no winning in these discussions, two parents are on the same team. If there’s a issue between the two parents, well, it’s going to get rough.
In the night, when the coughing won’t subside, and the fever is too high, but not high enough to take the child into the emergency room, you hope that something will change. You wish that you could somehow absorb the sickness from your child into your own body, or you wish that somehow your child could absorb your life energy from your sheer will and love and just get better.
You know that your child is contagious, and you’re not sure whether you had what they had when you were a kid, but you hug them anyways. You let them sleep in your bed, knowing that you will probably catch what they have, but you don’t care about becoming sick, because you care too much about the child suffering in your arms.
When the morning comes and the fever breaks, when the cough subsides, and the lungs are clear, your shoulders relax knowing that after many restless nights, you will finally be able to sleep peacefully tonight. You know that there will be more moments your child is sick and these hard times will come again. Even with this knowledge you don’t give up, you get busy. You get up, you make breakfast, and you do the endless number of tasks it takes to care for your child.
Because that’s what it means to be a parent.
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