This past week has been tough for many reasons. If you read my last blog post you have an idea of how current events are affecting my life, and if you are Facebook friends with me, you probably have an idea of another thing that has been on my mind.
Buffy got attacked recently by another dog. Diana was by herself, it was unexpected, it happened really fast, and it was scary. This isn’t the first time we’ve been here. This series of blog posts described the first major incident in which Buffy was attacked
That moment when Buffy was attacked was one the most memorable, and most important moments in my life. It was the coming together of a broadening view of love, responsibility, and relationships. It helped me understand what it meant to really love for another that you raise, and the reality of what you really take on when you become a parent.
Now if you don’t think that having a dog is like being the parent of a human child, that’s fine. People have different views on this one, but for me, being Buffy’s owner, has also felt more like being her parent, and this feeling has only become stronger now that I have two less fuzzy children.
After cleaning up Buffy’s behind, scrubbing her puke out of carpets, giving her medicine through a plastic syringe, and being peed on by her, nothing my boys have done have really grossed me out. That moment when you lean into the grossness, and your care for your little one overcomes you natural aversion to the mess, you are embracing and expressing a love that goes beyond what is easy, to what is hard.
And this week has been hard.
Seeing Buffy’s with a small patch of fur shaved off, and this wound slowly drain and heel, has felt heart-breaking. I know that she’s comfortable because in addition to antibiotics she’s on pain medication, and she is eating digesting just fine. However, I still feel really sad. I keep telling myself that this will all soon be a memory, but the healing process just feels like it’s going so slowly. While seeing Buffy walk around the house with her cone on is sometimes funny like when she bonks into things, her defeated groan as she lays down, giving up on trying move with the cone on makes me wish I could do something more for her.
There are limits in my relationship with Buffy. There are experiences I can never share with her, and things that I can never make her fully understand. However my love for her continues to grow through the moments we share, and a love beyond my understanding.
No comments:
Post a Comment